ุ's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 2:20pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 1:50pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 2:57pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 4:18am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 3:25am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 2:44pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 5:29am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 8:14am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 2:55am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 5:40am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 7:23am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 10:47am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 11:42pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 5:57am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 4:50am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2023 @ 2:40am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2023 @ 8:59am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 3:05am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2023 @ 10:36am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 6:52am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 3:17am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2021 @ 6:33am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 5:14am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 2:26pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 5:19am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 7:27am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2023 @ 12:57pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 1:05pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 14 Feb, 2021 @ 11:43am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2023 @ 10:10am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 2:58am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 1:39pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 7:01am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 1:15pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 1:44pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2021 @ 10:50am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 1:35pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 1:48pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 4:07am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2021 @ 10:52am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 2:28pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2021 @ 10:57am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 6:39am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2021 @ 10:54am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2021 @ 10:30am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 9:51am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 8:03am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 3:14pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 10:50am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 3:01pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 7:15am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 9:03am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 11:36am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2021 @ 5:45am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2021 @ 6:27am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 8:01am

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 10:22am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 3:30pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

6 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,605 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

17 / 30