"I give this to you as a reflection of me.
I was incapable of knowing people because I barely knew myself.
I was so wrapped up in coping mechanisms I employed from a young age and I never knew any better the consequences of them. I didn't even know they weren't normal.

All I knew, was that I was toxic.
Get too close to people, and I will go weird.
Because I wasn't close with myself... at all.
And I'd find that I'd push people away as a means to prevent 'me' from doing/saying anything that I would regret.
So I just kept my distance.

The people who pushed are the ones who paid.
Yet, they are the ones who meant the most to me.

It is not a good feeling at all.
To cause pain to one of the 'very few' people I care about.

And yet, it's happened on more than one occasion.

All the more reason that I stay away.
For myself, and others."