Chivalry 2 – A Review by “Sir Dies-a-Lot”

Rating: 8.5/10

Ah, Chivalry 2, where honor is secondary to hitting your enemies (and teammates) over the head with a chicken. Whether you're swinging a sword, launching a trebuchet, or accidentally chopping off your buddy’s arm during an intense battle, Chivalry 2 brings chaotic medieval warfare to life like no other. I haven’t felt this clumsy in a game since I tried VR bowling.


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Pros:

Glorious medieval chaos! Imagine a Monty Python sketch but with more decapitations. There's nothing quite like sprinting into battle only to get flattened by a flying war hammer.

Weapons for days! From swords, axes, and halberds to pitchforks and chairs (yes, chairs), there’s no shortage of creative ways to make enemies (or friends) bleed.

The “battle cries.” There’s something magical about charging into combat while yelling incoherently like you just stubbed your toe on the throne room’s coffee table.

Accidentally team-killing. Sometimes, you're the hero. Sometimes, you're the guy who slices his own teammate in half because "he looked like the enemy from the back."

Food fight! You can literally throw bread, chickens, and beer mugs at your enemies. Truly, the most honorable of medieval combat strategies.



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Cons:

No actual chivalry involved. I went in expecting duels of honor. What I got was a battlefield full of maniacs trying to decapitate each other with whatever was within reach (and me joining in, of course).

Friendly fire… not so friendly. You’ll learn quickly that your allies are more dangerous than your enemies, especially if you stand between them and a catapult.

Getting kicked down a ladder. There’s no faster way to feel humiliated than getting Sparta-kicked off a siege ladder. Pro tip: don’t climb when the enemy is standing at the top looking smug.

Respawn timer of doom. Dying is easy. Waiting to respawn is hard. Especially when you’re itching to get back in and accidentally team-kill again.



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Final Thoughts:

Chivalry 2 is not just a game—it’s a medieval disaster simulator with buckets of fun, a side of chaos, and a healthy serving of unintentional betrayal. Sure, you might lose your head (literally and figuratively) every 5 minutes, but when you nail that perfect beheading or crush an enemy with a flaming ballista shot, all is forgiven. If you’re not playing it with a grin on your face, you’re doing it wrong.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to apologize to the friend I just set on fire by accident.

Chivalry 2 – A Review by “Sir Dies-a-Lot” Rating: 8.5/10 Ah, Chivalry 2, where honor is secondary to hitting your enemies (and teammates) over the head with a chicken. Whether you're swinging a sword, launching a trebuchet, or accidentally chopping off your buddy’s arm during an intense battle, Chivalry 2 brings chaotic medieval warfare to life like no other. I haven’t felt this clumsy in a game since I tried VR bowling. --- Pros: Glorious medieval chaos! Imagine a Monty Python sketch but with more decapitations. There's nothing quite like sprinting into battle only to get flattened by a flying war hammer. Weapons for days! From swords, axes, and halberds to pitchforks and chairs (yes, chairs), there’s no shortage of creative ways to make enemies (or friends) bleed. The “battle cries.” There’s something magical about charging into combat while yelling incoherently like you just stubbed your toe on the throne room’s coffee table. Accidentally team-killing. Sometimes, you're the hero. Sometimes, you're the guy who slices his own teammate in half because "he looked like the enemy from the back." Food fight! You can literally throw bread, chickens, and beer mugs at your enemies. Truly, the most honorable of medieval combat strategies. --- Cons: No actual chivalry involved. I went in expecting duels of honor. What I got was a battlefield full of maniacs trying to decapitate each other with whatever was within reach (and me joining in, of course). Friendly fire… not so friendly. You’ll learn quickly that your allies are more dangerous than your enemies, especially if you stand between them and a catapult. Getting kicked down a ladder. There’s no faster way to feel humiliated than getting Sparta-kicked off a siege ladder. Pro tip: don’t climb when the enemy is standing at the top looking smug. Respawn timer of doom. Dying is easy. Waiting to respawn is hard. Especially when you’re itching to get back in and accidentally team-kill again. --- Final Thoughts: Chivalry 2 is not just a game—it’s a medieval disaster simulator with buckets of fun, a side of chaos, and a healthy serving of unintentional betrayal. Sure, you might lose your head (literally and figuratively) every 5 minutes, but when you nail that perfect beheading or crush an enemy with a flaming ballista shot, all is forgiven. If you’re not playing it with a grin on your face, you’re doing it wrong. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to apologize to the friend I just set on fire by accident.