Derken's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 1:14pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 3:57pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 4:01pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 3:44pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 3:21pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 4:26pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2018 @ 11:27am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2018 @ 1:03pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 22 Sep, 2018 @ 11:05am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 22 Sep, 2018 @ 12:15pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2018 @ 8:40am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2018 @ 2:52am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2018 @ 11:55am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2018 @ 2:13pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2018 @ 10:55am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 19 Mar, 2021 @ 2:01am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 19 Mar, 2021 @ 4:00am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 22 Sep, 2018 @ 12:10pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 3:35pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 1:08pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2018 @ 11:19am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2018 @ 8:10am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2018 @ 2:31am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2018 @ 8:20am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 22 Sep, 2018 @ 9:54am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2018 @ 7:41am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 1:09pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2018 @ 10:42am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2018 @ 1:02pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2018 @ 10:38am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2018 @ 8:37am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 19 Mar, 2021 @ 2:10am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2018 @ 9:17am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 2:54pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 3:23pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 3:39pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2018 @ 10:43am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 22 Sep, 2018 @ 9:55am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 3:23pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2018 @ 11:15am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 19 Mar, 2021 @ 3:48am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2018 @ 8:18am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 18 Mar, 2021 @ 11:32am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2018 @ 2:26pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2018 @ 8:43am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2018 @ 5:07pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2018 @ 8:09am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2018 @ 12:04pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2018 @ 2:01pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2018 @ 10:07am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2018 @ 9:21am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2018 @ 2:40am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2018 @ 12:35pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2018 @ 10:33am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 3:54pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

11 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

21 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

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