Welcome, gentlemen, to Aperture Science. Astronauts, war heroes, olympians: you're here because we want the best and you are it. So, who is ready to make some science? Now you already met one another on the Limo ride over so let me introduce myself Im Cave Johnson, I own the place. that eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured she has transfered your honorarium to the charitable organisation of your choice, isn't that right Caroline? She's the backbone of this facility, pretty as a postcard too. Sorry fellas, she's married - to science!


Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired.