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but I wasn’t laughing. I switched it to plasma beam and cut them all in half. Then I kicked down the door they were guarding. Inside, chained up and naked, was a beautiful woman.
“I’m the princess of europe” she said. I un-chained her and we made love on the corpses of our enemies.
“Marry me and become the king of europe” she said as we were escaping.
“Maybe next time.” I replied
“I think I’m pregnant.”
“You are. It’s a boy. You’re welcome”
I dropped her off at her castle then went home, to America and a heroes welcome where everyone clapped and I’ve been president ever since.