Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange ♥♥♥♥♥ mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day.

E-DATING PRICES

-SLEEP CALL
10 minutes = $20
30 minutes = $40
1-3 hour = $70
4-6 hours = $100
10+ hours = $300

-TEXTS
good morning/night text = $5 per day
"i love you” = $5 per message
“i love you” with a chosen pet name after = $10 per message
pet names pack (regular texting with additional pet name of your choice) = $70

-STATUS
putting you in my status = $35
putting you in my status with a pet name in front of your name = $50

-MATCHING PFPS
10 minutes of matching pfp = $10
30 minutes of matching pfp = $25

E-DATING PRICES

-SLEEP CALL
10 minutes = $20
30 minutes = $40
1-3 hour = $70
4-6 hours = $100
10+ hours = $300

-TEXTS
good morning/night text = $5 per day
"i love you” = $5 per message
“i love you” with a chosen pet name after = $10 per message
pet names pack (regular texting with additional pet name of your choice) = $70

-STATUS
putting you in my status = $35
putting you in my status with a pet name in front of your name = $50

-MATCHING PFPS
10 minutes of matching pfp = $10
30 minutes of matching pfp = $25

had to get a new veteran xd

AssSniferrr ehheehehehhe

ryan gosling is in my blood