5 minutes til he arrives. Scared!! Its gonna suck. Time to accept whatever comes. I love you. Life is rough. I hate this. Thank God for siblings.

Okay hes coming back tomorrow (maybe??)... "Darling I told you many times, and Im telling you once again, just to remind you sweetheart, my love for you will never change". And thats what it is. Im gonna do a bunch of work now. You look after yourself okay? I love you.

Abusive father coming back home cus he needs a place to be taken care of (by mum), and hes still terrible!! Not going to talk to him. I love when my life just goes downhill lololol. I wanna cry. I wanna cry. I wanna cry. Not gonna cry. I love you. Where are you. Its okayyyyyy, its not your choice. Hes coming back and theres nothing I can do. Exam tomorrow. I dont care. I cant deal with this all at the same time... except I can because time marches on and so do I. I worry for you out there, but im sure you'll make it. I love you!!

I miss you.

You deleted the alt... oh well. I feel so guilty and disgusting and just undeserving of love and you. I feel like a terrible partner, a terrible friend, a terrible person. I feel like ive hurt you so much... and I am so so so sorry. Please forgive me. Or uust be happy that's enough, everything to me. Maybe you hate me. I probably deserve it. I love you. Still and always

Tired. Pretty chill day though!! Dad might have to move back in but with terms in place whatever. Uhhhh pro tip!! You should moisturise your face after you wash it!! Cactus Im really tired and worn out and feeling just a bit dull. Like Im not sad, just kinda grey and monotone rn. Dont have much to say, but I do wanna say that I love you. I cuddle the blanket still, and think of you always. Dont be afraid that maybe I'll get over you, its just not gonna happen unless it happens purely on our terms. I love you. Please try enjoy the weekend, and Imma have some spaghetti then... play tf2 or do further maths idk?? I love you. Feeling better even just writing this little thing. Youre so small and cute... idc what anyone else says thats my opinion. And even if you were less small, I wouldnt love you any less. Something we talked abt a lot last night w mum was like "Sure you two have been through poverty, but you still had control over your choices, you still should make your children feel safe". Children being safe at home is the bare minimum. Safe and loved and valued for who they are. Thats always something a parent can do, always something they should do, and be held to account for. I love you, and I pray your mum looks after you.

Stressful day. Who cares. Do you care?? I dont know. I dont even know if I care. Im too tired for this. So sick and tired of living. The thought of you getting hurt really scares me so uh if I did hurt you a bunch in our relationship... please be extra careful with your next one okay? I love you. God I am so so so tired, but I know youre out there struggling worse, pushing harder, so I'll keep going. Keep going no matter what. I have so much work to do and no space or peace of mind to do it in. Okay got to go... bye!! I love you, goodnight and a preemptive good morning.