No one has rated this review as helpful yet
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 7.3 hrs on record
Posted: 17 Mar, 2017 @ 10:34pm

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed this game. I thought it was fun and the story was compelling enough to make me want to finish it. Speaking of the story, however, this main character is easily the dumbest person I have ever encountered in my life, let alone the fact that he's a detective. Ronan didn't die because he was hunting down a murderer, he died because the writers couldn't come up with a good enough excuse for supposedly-respectable police officers to allow this kind of stupidity to act freely in their police department. So they killed him off so that no cops would have to actually deal with how utterly moronic he is. I figured out the story about two and a half hours into the game, and i played a good 5 or 6 hours total to beat it. All along the way, Ronan kept going "Huh, I wonder what this means" when the meaning is so blatantly obvious that a 7-year-old could figure it out, given that this 7-year-old had the utmost basic knowledge on the historical significance of Salem. There was genuinely only one part of this story that surprised me, and even then, it wasn't that impactful because of how upset I was at Ronan for his 6 straight hours of nonstop idiocracy. What really emphasized his stupidity, and I personally find this thoroughly ironic, was when he finally ended up talking with Baxter. Ronan spent the entirety of the game talking about how stupid Baxter is, and when it came down to them actually working together, Ronan had gotten to literally the EXACT same place as Baxter in their search for the killer. Also, overall, Ronan's facial expressions were a huge disconnect. You could tell it was supposed to be a dramatic moment, and Ronan still looked like the infant that I think he really is. Except if that infant were 5'10", had a stubble, and wore a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fedora. Mechanics-wise, it was lacking, but not in such a way that made it hard. Just somewhat tedious. At one point where Ronan should be hauling ass across all of Salem, he's instead jogging briskly, taking detours because of how confusing the map is. The teleport mechanic comes in handy, I guess, but honestly it would be so much better if it were just a set distance that you could sorta spam to move faster, instead of having to hold left click, wait for it to charge, and let go, only to travel a repeatedly disappointing distance. Trying to get from the musem to the church was honestly one of the worst sequences for this. I wanted to care about trying to get to the church as fast as I possibly could, but all Ronan could care about was the brunch he was gonna go have with his dead wife after this was all over, resulting in me wanting to start running down my street so that one of us could feel like they were attempting to go quickly towards anything.

tl;dr
story was predictable, Ronan is a moron, and the controls are meh. 14/10 would Julia again.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award