Recent reviews by Sgt. Pepper

RARE UBISOFT W!

After the bombastically awful failure of Rocksmith+ (which for those unaware was a subscription based platform intent on replacing THIS which as you can ultimately failed) it looks like Ubisoft decided to relist the original RS2014 sans any of the music.

AS OF TYPING; CDLC DOES NOT WORK, RSMODS ARE NOT FUNCTIONING AND THE NO CABLE PATCH IS A NO-GO. MODDERS ARE AWARE AND WORKING ON THEM.

But for less then the original price point and waiting on fixes for custom player made content; this is really a no-brainer. It does suck seeing as the original is dead and buried and only available to those whom already own it but as a Guitar player of almost 20 years this tool is invaluable. Ubisoft's corporate ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ be damned. Give it some time, let the rock n rollin modders fix up the game and download all those songs you've been dying to learn and actually LEARN THEM. Weather your a seasoned riffer like myself or just picked up a cheap marlboro smelling Epiphone this tool is as I said - invalueable. From the deep in the dirt tools to help slow down and compartmentalize songs and the lessons to help you get your technique JUST RIGHT, I so so wish something like this had existed around the time I first started playing. Not to mention; making custom songs using tab data and the like are also possible and pretty simple; I've used Rocksmith on my offline time just translating old/new songs from tab books and old tab websites and giving myself a new goal, a new song to learn, a new technique and that alone is the greatest point about Rocksmith, it lit a fire for my love of Guitar ablaze and bright that's still keeping me warm.

I'd like to hope that with "The Crew" situation and Ubisoft looking like an eight course meal for a bigger publisher than it that this is a first sign of better customer intent and goodwill. I hope regardless of that Rocksmith can still thrive. And like an unannounced surprise reunion tour, It has - and did.

In a world where the legacy of games like Battlefield is evermore uncertain, in a time where the idea of a "WW2 shooter" was tried and quickly buried like an unexploded munition with just as much haste as the fad has come back around again - in an industry of games like: Hell Let Loose, Isonzo, Verdun and even to an extension Insurgency and the like I'm going AWOL on this assignment. Enlisted is a very interesting battle plan that gets confused and becomes more of a pyrrhic victory than anything, and I say this as a hugely hardcore fan of Gaijin's other work in War Thunder.


Enlisted is a WW2 squad-based FPS with an emphasis on dense and chaotic, almost cinematic firefights between the worlds nations and to that effect it does surprisingly well. The amount of times in my short playtime I was quickly diving for cover as the enemy squadrons began to collaborate against my own, planes diving in like tossed paper balls and shattering into the earth with errata, it's honestly a really cinematic experience.
And on top of that HONESTLY I do REALLY like the concept on display; your given a battalion of soldiers to choose and command from who all have their own distinct abilities and perks and benefits. Some soldiers come with long arms for sniping, others are engineers for reinforcing and helping maintain the line of attrition, and to that end it's decently fun!


Ya know, until ya realize how brain dead the AI is, making the games feel like a strange proto-Titanfall like experience where I can see the idea of having bot controlled AI abound the map to fill the gaps and allow players to build up a sense of "fight" amongst the matches but it's SO braindead I seriously felt like I was playing a mobile game. I was getting medals (achievements and unlocks) DUMPED onto me with such a speedy rate that I thought I broke the game and got into bot only games, only to find out, this is just how it's designed. Not to mention the amount of control you have over your squad is actually comedically trivial. You can order them to hold or charge, that's it. I saw NO OTHER additions to autonomy with your squad-mates. And after a floppy flippy Garry's Mod flavored deathmatch, it all ends to a big fat results screen showing you the multitude of resources you pulled and you go again. It's a woefully unsatisfying experience, none of the matches felt memorable or close or fun at all. Upon my time/research of the game I found out there was a game mode called "Lone Fighters" where just human controlled players abounded the matches and while that sounds fun; that just sounds like a worse version of Red Orchestra 2, which, if it's been ghosting in my steam library for a decade without much play then where the ♥♥♥♥ does Enlisted stand?
Down in the ranks. Off my hard drive, and off the battleplan.

That's where it stops because as an actual ya know, first person multiplayer shooter this game gets so ♥♥♥♥♥♥ confused in it's ideas that I really think I've stumbled unto some kind of abandonware title seeped through the killing room's floor. Tons and I do mean tons of questions abounded me as I was playing;

• Where the ♥♥♥♥ are my teammates? do I have teammates? are these only bots?
  
• Why is the progression tree so haywire and strangely ordered? I can go for planes before rifles? and SMGS before anything else? What are the benefits to that exactly?
  
• Wait I can BUILD AA gun emplacements? And sandbag deployments?!
  
• Is the game actually gonna inform me on the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ choices I'm making?
  
• Why are the map choices so binary and lacking, seriously? I gotta hop between nations and start in the nosebleeds again? Why? Balance?
  
• Why the ♥♥♥♥ am I matrix style body swapping? is this Battlefield 2 Modern Combat? Cause that game had smarter AI and actual squad commands to make it stick, this feels like ♥♥♥♥♥♥ bot-stomp shooter.

And other such very easily explained questions I'm sure hardcore fans would tell me but, that unearthed another detail that is - this game is decently recent. So why is the design so chaotic? Why is it so lacking in information? Why does this feel like a prototype someone slapped a couple of months onto and called "a game"? It feels like design by random ideologue and not informed choice. Enlisted is a game full of squandered potential between both older and newer games, and beyond it being free this one isn't truly free - this one is a genuine time vampire.. No fun abounds here. Avoid.

God I hate that I'm putting a thumbs down but, ARKOS is a tedious and I do mean in the best most purest form TEDIOUS ass experience. On the surface; you've got a boomer shooter-lite vibe, with graphics harkening back to the early days of the DOS era with that Catacomb-3D-esque color scheme, and some interestingly cute little wizard dudes to blast at, seems interesting right?

Well ♥♥♥♥ hold up cowboy that's about ALL the game has going for it. I will admit; the voxels and lighting look downright ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gorgeous. The art direction is on point; it's so adorable and memorable (for lack of a better term) - just LOOKING at the designs of things I can tell the dev had put a ton of time and honest heart into the conception of the world on display here. From the cute little wizard bastards, to the spiders hanging from the ceiling - to the cool as all get-out DND flavored 'staves' replacing your guns for your arsenal. But that's where it stops and it stops DEAD.

Episodes come down to a myriad of levels with Wolfenstein 3D/Catacombs-esque design, there is 0 vertical variation to design of the level spaces and it unfortunately adds to the tedium. And I know your thinking "well no ♥♥♥♥ dude" but instead of the dev taking this restriction and working with it - upon reaching Episode 4 I realized all of these restaurant place-mat mazes called levels there is 0 variation between them other than a color swap between the episodes themselves. No new level design tricks abound, no traps, no secrets, no new monsters beyond what you see in Episode 1 - or weapons brother I ain't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you nooooooooothing goes beyond the literal first episode. It shows ALLLLLLLLLLL its tricks

And I feel like the dev could tell because the total number per episode drops off fast; I otherwise opted to uninstall.

ARKOs - for all it harkening back to it's DOS era roots - should've stayed on the shareware list. Recommended on heavy heavy discount for total superfans of the genre, and even then it's a stretch. It's all dressed up with nowhere to go. Bland, tedious slugfest.

Activision has left security exploits linger in these older titles making them entirely unsafe to boot within their normal means. HOWEVER, there is hope!

https://plutonium.pw/

♥♥♥♥ ACTIVISION.

Ya'll remember Worms? Probably, those games are copy-pasted all over any Steam sale.

Okay, what about Scorched Earth and Pocket Tanks? That's more the speed.

Shellshock Live is a classically flavored tank versus tank volley game inspired by the former, games like Pocket Tanks and Scorched Earth, days sitting sharing the computer with sibling and friend landing shot after shot on each others Tanks/Worms/What have ya. Where Shellshock Live takes a step aside from those games though is the level of depth and customization on display; giving you a real deep trove of tanking to enjoy either solo with the challenge missions or skirmish mode, or with friends - even on the same screen! Making it perfect for those Death Tank Zwei inspired nights of yore. Where the game I feel it DOES lack is the actual levity of offerings for single player. As once you run among the gambit; your kinda at odds and are either forced to play online or replay skirmishes. So I hope by that point the gameplay sticks it out for you, and the mileage will vary. For me, I find this type of gameplay absolutely timelessly fun. Not to mention it's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gorgeous neon affair reminding me of games on the Amiga as well. All it's missing is some tracker music.

All the more though Shellshock is a blast - pun 100% intended. I would advise to wait though for a sale only to bag extra copies for friends because, as much as I can attest, as a solo player you WILL enjoy it if what I've said is enticing - it really is better with friends.

Shellshock Live is Pizza and Beer. A+ work goin on here, kChamp.

PAC-MAN on it's face is a pureless and timeless example of what a video game is. You say it, you see it. You know it. Championship Edition is a bit of a twist on the formula however.
Rather then following patterns and getting game sense and egging corners on a dime, the game is focused on chaining ghosts and speed. Rather than having a predisposed set of behaviors per ghost, the ghosts will barrel down onto you and chase you into the maze almost single file, and this allows a bit of variation with playing around with the AI itself. You can really get a large conga-line of the little technicolor phantoms going in no time at all. The game speed increases exponentially as you score ghost gobbles and is such an addictive ebb and flow gate; of playing with the ghosts' attention and spawn rates until you get a massive line up then you grab that one power pill and BLAM. It's a perfect circulation of addictive mechanics and pure gameplay. For $10 tho I'd recommend a sale, it really is just PAC-MAN with some customization options. But my god is it honestly the best variation. The "tetris effect" of PAC-MAN cuts.

Cruelty Squad is a game that defies identification and pragmatism. As a whole medium; I've never played or watched a game that both repulses me and pulls me in with a slick, wet, hard grip right around my eyeballs and my soul. A game that invites you to explore, break and play with the world and it's tools. Ya know how your like a dumb kid that doesn't understand video games? And you kinda bud around and figure things out piece by piece until you get it? This is that experience pulled back into beautiful form. This game will crush you, slap you, step on you, throw you onto the ceiling, tear your divine light from your flesh and throw you into a traumatic loop of death and undeath the which you've probably never played before, and then, you will attain pure CEO mindset, become a powerful asset of the market and bend life's will around your finger.

And ya know when your tired of shootin dudes you can go fishing!
or sell organs!

It's classic Rainbow Six styled gameplay without the planning and point. You'll die faster than you can process damage pounding your player character. You'll sell organs. You'll eat flesh. You may probably hate this game, but you may not.

Left 4 Dead 2 is like a comfy summer movie from years past or an old friend that brings the your favorite beer and pizza for the yearly hang-out session now that your both grown. From the moment I saw the Clutch-ladden trailer as an impressionable zombie enjoying scuzzball crawling through the mall with my friends it gave a deep a impression. From the tight routine gameplay popped off by some of the equally tightest level design in a Valve game (and I'll take that to the streets man) probably. (No you don't need to stalk my profile to see I haven't played Half-Life Alyx yet either). Whatever I can say has been stated by others in varying ways but - you know it when ya see it. A solid fun ass time. $20 or $5 you won't be left cold if for some reason you don't own this.

none of you are prepared for how badly your gonna get fragged but by god it's downright religious. This is what the gladiators felt like to preform. The greatest.

Excellent bit of kit, preinstalled to run-off just fine with ala carte core installation all in client. Very nice setup and minimal headaches.