Sage this is why you're always touched first

He is:

Jesus (Turns water into PP)
Broke (Paid his taxes twice)
6'1 (Stand on his money now he's 6'1)
Workin' out to get a big body (Hippopotamus)
Batman (Treat him like he's Bruce Wayne)
Smooth with a kick (151 rum)
Putting his hands in his pockets (He got hard again)
Listening to terrible music (The song is so ass he don't even wanna eat it)
Not a narcissist (Just in love with himself)
A dog (They wanna get him caught)
Hitting your grandma with his wood (Minecraft)
So cocky (Yeah his ego's hella phat)
Outta toilet paper (He wiped his ass with the shower curtains)
So broke he can't buy ♥♥♥♥ from Wendy's
Only with her for the night (She like "Insert cash, or select payment type")
Running outta bars (Like Fort Knox if it got robbed)
Hot with the sauce and the bread (He's Digiorno)
A Mack (Not the truck that hits a deer)

This is Alex S---, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, wrong Alex

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