Aurum Neon's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2014 @ 1:58pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2014 @ 2:02pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2014 @ 2:10pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 12:45pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 1:58pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 12:40pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 1:39pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 2:47pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 11:29am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 12:33pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2017 @ 8:43pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2017 @ 9:37pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 10:47am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 21 Jun, 2017 @ 6:40pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 12:21pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 1:27pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 2:45pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 21 Jun, 2017 @ 3:31pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 2:04pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 8:43pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 21 Jun, 2017 @ 7:36pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 10:54am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2014 @ 2:18pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 9:52am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 16 Jun, 2017 @ 10:25am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 1:06pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 11:20am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2017 @ 8:47pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 21 Jun, 2017 @ 4:51pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 21 Jun, 2017 @ 4:55pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 10:04am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 10:58am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 11:26am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 2:33pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 10:48am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2017 @ 8:25pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 10:25am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 2:05pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 9:57am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 12:44pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 10:17am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2014 @ 1:58pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 12:19pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 12:59pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 10:53am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 2:27pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 2:18pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 9:47am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 2:28pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 10:52am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 12:35pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2017 @ 3:51pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 2:12pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2017 @ 9:38pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 11:38am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

3 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

2 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

3 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

2 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

2 / 30