And there was evening and there was morning, a fifth day. And Tom said, "Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds: cattle and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds – this shit is good for burgers" And it was so, well like we’ve discussed before, it was probably so; however, we take no moral or legal obligation that it was definitely so because Tom does not like getting sued by his (probable) creations. And Tom made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the cattle according to their kinds, and everything that creeps upon the ground according to its kind. And Tom ate it. It was good. Then Tom said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness – obesity being a key concept – but remember, no homo fags; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth – though if they take all my food they can fuck off back to limbo." So Tom created man in his own image, in the image of Tom he created him; male and female (Tom, after all, was a sexual deviant) he created them. And Tom blessed them, and Tom said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth...oh wait, I’ve said all this crap before, my bad guys – I’m off for a pizza and a choccie bar or seven." And Tom said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed (oh wait, that’s healthy so I destroyed it all) which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth, and to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food." And it was so that it could have been so, these so’s really annoy me because it’s not necessarily so – we might all be living in Tom’s stomach for all we know (we are by the way) – but yes, ‘twas so.