Welcome, test subject, it's Salted. Prime. From Earth One.

Welcome, gentlemen, to The Salty Area. Astronauts, war heroes, Olympians--you're here because we want the best, and you are it. So: Who is ready to make some cherry pie?

Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.

I'm Salted Snake. I own the place.

There's like, 3 tests performed every day here in our enrichment spheres. I can't personally oversee every one of them, so these pre-recorded messages'll cover any questions you might have, and respond to any incidents that may occur in the course of your video game adventure.

Your game assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will. Just kidding, you play video games.

They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here. At T.S.A, we do all our science from scratch. No hand holding.