Lissen up, wankers!

It’s been about two weeks now since the robot invasion started, and thanks to our mastery and team spirit Mann co is still standing. By this time most people hav’ learnd that this mode needs to be played somewhat differently than normal gameplay. Still, Oi’m hearin a lot o complaining within our ranks, and there are some points Oi like to share with mah beloved team.

Engineer-well, don people like you a lot. Four o you and the battle is won, they say. Well, MVM ain’t like defending Dustbowl, son. Didn’t yoy all notice that whenevah you cart a sentry out o the way of a sentry bustah, it makes them respawn quickly? Them sentries don kill much when you have to log em around all the time, are they?

Medic- Well yah critz pretty much saved the day fighting those tanks, I’ll agree to that. But your healing ain’t so hot when everbody is DEAD.

Pyro- Pushing that bomb down a pit, crikey! Or yunno, just bein’ a flamer until everything is dead. That’s a touching story right there. Your doin good lassie…lad…whatever the hell you are.

Soldier- Ha, yer so vanilla I’d like to lick ya roight up! Get that direct hit on and buff that banner, you mongrel!

Demoman- Well, that criz stickytrap you gon and laid out is looking really damn nice there, Demo. Taking out the medic-bots with those, are ya? Oh noes, you missed one and he jus activated his uber, ain’t that somethin?

Heavy-Dear old gravy-bleedin’ fatso, whatcha matter? Not so easy tearing apart a team when 2000 spastic scoutgremlin’-bots tear you to pieces and you are as slow as molasses?

Spoi-Well, were in the same boat for once and should probably co-operate (seein’ as this is co-op), you backstabbing spook. You only gon and done away with those uber-medics and collected the cash as good as any Scout, and all you get is piss piss piss. Well, you used to get that from me as well.

Scout-Son, if people complain about havin’ a scout on their team, run like the little bunny you are and nevah look back!

See dat big mean ol robot coming at us? No? Dat’s because he is DEAD! Notice how he wos all yella before he crooked, notice how he was all slow? Dat was the power of jarate, boy. Sure, Scout could throw his wank at the robots, but would it also increase your precious DPS? Oi think not! And even if Oi don feel like rolling jarate (or me bladder is empty) dat SMG really hurt when fully upgraded and critzed! And if Oi have the carbine, oi don’ need no girly critz on kill bonus. Dat money stays in mah pockets.

Jus’ sayin.