We need more stories, IMMEDIENTLY.

Here is one to start:

Once upon a time there was a man named Bob. Bob was a worker in a factory that manufactured condoms. Bob was underpayed and hated his job. His boss Tom would frequently test the condoms on Bob through various means until one day Bob had enough. Bob took a condom and slit his boss's throat with it. He then rigged the factory to explode, sending condoms all over the neighborhood. Bob then proceded to let out his frustrations by nightly visiting strip clubs, only to smother every hooker in sight with his condoms. He was finally stopped in a shootout with cops; Bobs condom vest turned out not to be bulletproof. People say Bob's ghost still haunts those strip clubs to this day.

The end.

once upon a time a person pissed me off so i threw them into an alley and they got raped by two dozen black people

Boy: Hi.

Girl: Hi.

Boy: God doesn't like ugly people.

Girl: That's why he doesn't like you.

Girl: #REKT

> I was only nine years old

>I loved Drek so much, I owned all the movies and merchandise

>I pray to Drek every night, thanking him for the life I have been given

>"Drek is love", I say, "Drek is life"

>My dad hears me and calls me a ♥♥♥♥♥♥

> He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Drek

>I called him a ♥♥♥♥

> He slaps me and sends me to my room

> I am crying now, because my face hurts

> I go into my bed and it is very cold

>I feel a warmth moving towards me

> I fell something touch me

> It's Drek

> I am so happy

> he whispers into my ear, "This is my swamp"

> He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees

> I'm ready

> I spread my ass cheeks for Drek

> He penetrates my butthole

> It hurts so much, but I do it for Drek

> I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water

> I push against his force

> I want to please Drek

> He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love

> My dad walks in

> Drek looks him deep in the eyes and says, "It's all ogre now"

> Drek leaves through my window

once upon a time i got chocolate milk in my beard which caused a chemical reaction which in turn caused my beard to mutate into a giant monster that for some reason had a personal vendetta against the oreo company and proceeded to destroy oreos for science

the end