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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has
five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.


There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.


Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.


Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.


Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.


Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.


Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.


Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.


Chuck Norris can spllit atom with his bare hands


Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door


Chuck Norris has no emotions


Chuck Norris has 2 speeds walk,kill


Chuck Norris counted to infinty twice


When Chuck Norris does push up he is not pushing himself up he is pushing the world down

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