Welcome, Disciples.

Hello, future disciple! Welcome to the official page of the Holy Church of Burger King (also known as the Roman Burgus Church). We are an church founded in 1506 at the rise of the Cold War, in order to combat the Communist threat of the Imperialist McDonald's Cult. This cult threatened the existance of our people as they discriminated us in some of the wealthiest and most powerful countries that existed throughout the 16th century (i.e. South Korea, USSR, Sacramento, Wales), however they were unsuccessful as the mighty church of Burger King arose to defend the rights of the disciples of Whoopes! The Church of Burger Kings mission is to A) Spread the teachings of Whoopes to the four corners of Burges (Earth). B) To be a definitely peaceful nonthreatening rise of power in the Middle East. C) To spread tolerance towards our faith by the heathens (i.e. Christians, Muslims, Pastafarians, etc.)

So what are the benefits of being a part of five-century church? Job Opportunities at wonderful companies such as Burger King, of course! As well as being a member of an extremely diverse and fantastic community that is made up predominatinely with Heterosexual White Males! Not to mention, salvation from the McDonald's Club (similar to the Christian "Hell") with the ability to enjoy the luxury of the BK Junior's Club (similar to the Christian "Heaven").

So please, if you believe that our glorious God, Whoopes, is our lord and savour (even somewhat). Then please join the Holy Church of Burger King, in order to receive salvation!

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Responsibilities
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1) Must pray to Whoopes on a daily basis.
2) Must become sexual with a Whooper at least once behind the Gym at your local High School.
3) Must go to BK on Wednesdays (or play CS:GO with the Pope on that day).
4) Must be crazy (or have a mental condition of any sort [Don't worry, you already meet that requirement]).
5) Must eat a Whooper (or any BK burger) on Sunday [Inquistion will make sure that happens...].

Contact info:
1-866-394-2493 (Its the BK Corporate Phone Number)

Our Church Website[www.bk.com]
Nation-States List[pastebin.com]
Our Pope's YouTube Page

VER TODO

DISCUSIONES POPULARES

VER TODO (4)

ANUNCIOS RECIENTES

Whoopes has touched our two disciples, Escapechris and SpongeKnob!

13 de junio de 2015 - Gran Tlaloc | 0 comentarios

He has revealed to them both some long forgotten facts about our religion and its might! Here is the conversation between the Pope and Spongeknob as he tells us it all!

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SpongeKnob SquareNuts: did chris tell you
Dr.Duke: what?
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: we used the religion
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: for our class
Dr.Duke: Really?
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: we had to make up a religion
Dr.Duke: omfg
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: so we used that xD
Dr.Duke: You did
Dr.Duke: YES
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: and complexified it
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: theres like 7 cooks of whoopus
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: and if you have troubles
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: you sacrifice a cow in the temple
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: then take it to a cook thats dedicated to your type of problem
Dr.Duke: You need to send me the Google Doc now
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: and eat the magic burger
Dr.Duke: I need to write this stuff down
Dr.Duke: TELL ME
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: it was all in class lol
Dr.Duke: WHOOPES TOUCHED YOUR HEAD AND TOLD YOU EVERYTHING
Dr.Duke: I NEED TO KNOW
Dr.Duke: OUR PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: LOL
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: theres a cook
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: of
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: umm
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: emotions
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: family
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: financial issues
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: i dont remember the others
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: i think relationships
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: health
Dr.Duke: lol
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: and some others
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: oh and whopper wednesdays
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: the cooks gather at the temple and make a huge whopper
Dr.Duke: Whooper Wednesday started this church
Dr.Duke: lol
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: and all of the followers of whoopus eat it
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: in an extremely savage manner
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: and it cleanses them of their sins
Dr.Duke: keep telling me the church details
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: what might that be? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Dr.Duke: I need to know all the facts about our religion now
Dr.Duke: OUR PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: thats all we have so far
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: lol
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: idk
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: more might come
Dr.Duke: okay good
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: but because of our religion
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: we ended up basing our whole civilization on cows
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: they live inside cows]
SpongeKnob SquareNuts: the workers are robot cows

Sunday School

13 de junio de 2015 - Gran Tlaloc | 0 comentarios

Eat a Burger from BK on Sunday, or the Inquistion will find you.

In other news, we are now hiring for members of the Inquisition. Pay is Whoopes' love, no refunds.

4 comentarios

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