Mount & Blade: Warband

Mount & Blade: Warband

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Fist-Fighting for Men
By monster danergy zero ultra
Learn to disarm yourself and prove you are more deadly with your knuckles than with steel!
   
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Introduction
You're reading this because you are sad of losing; you're sad of getting rekt by some unarmoured guy, and you want to humiliate him, dont you?. I will begin with a question that most of my colleagues ask me,
" why invent weapons when you can just punch people?"
I simply answer the question with
" Society has misled man for centuries, they have criticised art of fist fighting because it hurts man's knuckles. It is true, is much easier to smash someone with a stick until he dies or poke him in the stomach with a sharp thing, but fistfighting is more rewarding and satisfying, and even our ancient ancestors fought barehanded."
So i shall tell you the secret of the fistfight, how to harness its power to destroy everything you see.

The Studies of Unarmed Science
The fist was never invented. It has been a standard and compulsory item during birth. Below is shown a detailed diagram of the fist. The red stuff is a thing called "Muscle" but only nerds care for that stuff, my man. We are men, so i will make this section short. Actually, i'll end it here.

The Moves
Now we may actually begin. To begin fighting, you must first know the moves. There are only two moves when it comes to fist fighting. The first being:

The Uppercut

and
The Backhand (idk everyone calls it that)

Then there is The Block. The Block will protect you from everything that isn't a sword, spear, axe, arrow or bolt.
Those Metal Clothes
Now, when i say equipment i do not mean weapons (gaben forbids us), i am talking about armour. Naturally Humans have soft skin, which give us a disadvantage when fighting bears. When i was young i often contemplated on the use of bulky armour; with armour you cannot make a fast getaway.

The Armoured, Bulky and *shudder* Armed knight
The Humble, Lithe and Handsome recruit
Analysing the Enemy
"You can't kill everyone."
That's what Lincoln said to the People's Liberation Army of Greenland. The story of that quote is irrelevant, but the quote matters. No, you can't kill everyone one the battlefield, we have to live with that fact. Fistfighting is, and i hate to say it, an inefficient method of fighting, but it's not useless. Everything can be achieved if the player is willing.

You can get pushed around on the battlefield at first
You must analyse the enemy and the situation. e.g. when you spot a fresh noob who is equipped with a shield, you can either punch his shield until it breaks and run away so somebody else can kill him, or you can take him on. You must also analyse the enemy's skill and armour. The armour can be seen clearly on the enemy, but in order to analyse the enemy's skills you must wait. If he's killing everyone you can see it on the killfeed, and in that case he's probably mlg swag phaze pro so dont rush towards him.

Conclusion
I will conclude with a short statement on the benefits of fistfighting, that not only helps you defeat (attempt to defeat) enemies, but also many other things such as saving your life. Many times when i walk up to some pleb they will not attack, however, kicking the enemy will be taken as an act of aggression, and you will cease to live and breathe Mount and Blade life. So take care my friends, and learn well.
30 Comments
Miktof 24 May, 2020 @ 11:06am 
Instructions unclear, Rhodoks took my castle.
Burger Beers 21 May, 2020 @ 1:10pm 
Sep 29, 2015 @
Cheesebrain424 29 Sep, 2015 @ 9:05pm 
this guide was so mlg i rekt my pants
Austriker 29 Sep, 2015 @ 4:56pm 
My rage will fuel the power of my fists. thank you master.
monster danergy zero ultra  [author] 28 Sep, 2015 @ 3:33pm 
@POLAR
panic and use your sword, then go full-on mlg fisting with the last guy.
chad 28 Sep, 2015 @ 12:51pm 
what if my fist jams?
Dino_Spamoni 27 Sep, 2015 @ 9:57pm 
Funny I enjoyed your article :steamhappy: . But you forgot that fists can chamber.
POLAR 27 Sep, 2015 @ 3:12pm 
Question, What should i do when i am fighting 3 people with poles, Fist or my sword?
Dmformom 27 Sep, 2015 @ 12:33pm 
It is called a bitch slap not a backhand
Fumblerful 26 Sep, 2015 @ 11:26pm 
I will fistfight for honah, for glory, for GabeN!