Warframe

Warframe

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"Bullet Jumping Into Madness: A Tenno's Guide to Space Nonsense"
By SᴘɪᴅᴇʀCʟᴀᴡ ⚡
Greetings, Tenno! Welcome to Warframe, the intergalactic ninja simulator that combines sleek space aesthetics with utter chaos. Whether you’re a wide-eyed beginner or a grizzled veteran still trying to farm that one Prime part, this guide will help you navigate the vast universe of Warframe—with a humorous twist.
   
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Step 1: What Even Is Warframe?
Imagine a game where you:

Fight aliens in stylish bodysuits.

Craft ridiculously powerful weapons.

Grind for hours to get a 50% off coupon for space cosmetics.
That’s Warframe. It’s part parkour simulator, part loot hoarder, and 100% overwhelming for new players.


But fear not! You’ll get the hang of it... eventually.
Step 2: Meet the Space Noodles
Warframes are your space ninja suits, each with its own personality. Here are a few classics:

1. Excalibur: The tutorial ninja. Loves stabbing things with energy swords.


2. Rhino: Think of him as a space tank who woke up and chose violence.


3. Loki: For players who enjoy trolling enemies (and teammates).


4. Mag: She loves magnets. Why? Because they’re magic.



Pick your first Warframe carefully; it will either become your best friend or the one you abandon as soon as you unlock something shinier.
Step 3: You Get Guns. Lots of Guns.
In Warframe, guns aren’t just tools; they’re your identity. Here’s the breakdown:

Primary Weapons: Big guns that make enemies explode in glorious particle effects.

Secondary Weapons: Stylish pistols for when you’re feeling fancy.

Melee Weapons: Why shoot when you can spin-to-win through hordes of enemies?


Pro tip: Always use mods. Mods make your weapons go from "meh" to "did I just delete the boss?"
Step 4: Parkour Like a Space Ninja
The secret to being a true Tenno is mastering the art of bullet jumping. It’s not just a movement mechanic—it’s a lifestyle. Learn to:

Glide gracefully through levels while firing bullets.

Launch yourself into walls (on purpose).

Accidentally fly off the map during a boss fight.


You’ll look amazing doing it. Probably.
Step 5: The Grind Never Ends
If you love farming, Warframe is your dream game. Need a shiny new weapon or Warframe? Time to grind. Need resources for crafting? Time to grind some more.

But here’s the thing: Warframe makes grinding fun! You’ll start a session intending to farm one resource, only to get distracted by:

A random event that promises shiny loot.

Your squad deciding to “just do one more mission.”

Trying to out-dance everyone in your Clan Dojo.
Step 6: Fashion Frame is Endgame
Forget stats and builds; the true endgame of Warframe is looking fabulous. Every Tenno knows that your survival chances double when your Warframe matches your color scheme.

Key tips:

Experiment with colors until you blind your squad.

Farm Syndicate reputation for those sweet sigils.

Buy a space cape (Syandana). Every ninja needs a cape.
Step 7: Beware the Void
The Void is where all the juicy loot comes from, but it’s also where RNGesus reigns supreme. Want a Prime Warframe? Prepare to:

1. Farm relics.


2. Crack relics.


3. Get everything except what you need.



Eventually, you’ll wonder if the Void is just trolling you.
Step 8: Join the Community
The Warframe community is one of the friendliest (and most meme-filled) in gaming. Want help? Just ask in chat. But be prepared for:

Endless “Where is Baro Ki’Teer?” jokes.

Arguments over which Warframe is the best (it’s Wisp).

Someone gifting you a potato (you’ll understand later).
Step 9: The Orbiter is Your Home
Your spaceship is not just a hub; it’s your personal zen garden. Here’s what you can do:

Decorate it with random junk you find during missions.

Pet your Kubrow or Kavat (space dog/cat).

Stare lovingly at your fish collection. (Fishing is a big deal in Warframe. Don't ask why; just accept it.)
Step 10: Embrace the Chaos
Ultimately, Warframe is about having fun in a universe where nothing makes sense but everything is awesome. Whether you’re stealthily taking down enemies or turning them into space confetti, remember to enjoy the ride.

So, grab your favorite Warframe, load up your arsenal, and get out there, Tenno. The Origin System isn’t going to save itself—and neither is your sanity.

Good luck! And may RNGesus bless you with all the loot you desire.