Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition

Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition

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"Sleeping Dogs: How to Punch, Drive, and Fail Your Way Through Hong Kong"
By SᴘɪᴅᴇʀCʟᴀᴡ ⚡
Welcome to the bustling streets of Hong Kong, where you’re undercover cop Wei Shen! But if you're playing Sleeping Dogs like most of us, you're less of a law enforcer and more of a walking disaster that barely remembers to arrest people. This guide will walk you through how to totally not be a terrible cop (wink) while also embracing the chaos and absurdity that makes this game so much fun.

We’re not here to tell you the “right way” to play, but the most hilarious and borderline idiotic ways to experience the best that Sleeping Dogs has to offer. Let’s get into it, Shen-spirators!
   
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Chapter 1: Mastering the Art of Kung-Fail
Hong Kong’s mean streets demand that you be an expert in hand-to-hand combat. Fortunately, you’re Wei Shen—martial arts master and king of all things punchy. Unfortunately, sometimes that means you'll spend more time accidentally face-planting than gracefully dismantling enemies.

Combat Tips:

Spam the Counter Button: Countering is key, but it’s also way too fun to hit the button every time someone even looks at you. Nothing’s happening? Just keep pressing. Eventually, someone will punch you in the face, and hey—you were technically prepared.

Melee Weapons Are Hilarious: Grab a fish from a nearby market and slap your enemies senseless. Who needs a gun when you have a floppy fish and a dream?

Street Fights 101: Get into random brawls with anyone that bumps into you. Why? Because this is Hong Kong, and you’re Wei Shen—no one pushes you and lives to tell the tale. Well, except for the dozens of pedestrians you'll accidentally punch before running away from the cops.


Funny Combat Tactics:

The Environmental Overkill: Why just punch someone when you can slam their face into a burning stove, a fish tank, or an electric box? The over-the-top environmental kills are so absurd you’ll wonder if Wei Shen is training to be the next supervillain.

The Forever Kick: When someone’s down, the natural instinct is to kick them, right? But why stop after just a few kicks? Just keep kicking. Even when they’re long gone. This isn’t just a fight—it’s therapy.
Chapter 2: Driving – AKA How Not to Die in Traffic
If you think driving in the crowded streets of Hong Kong would require skill and precision, you're very wrong. Driving in Sleeping Dogs is about chaos, speed, and seeing how many things you can crash into before your car explodes. Buckle up!

Driving Tips:

Forget the Brakes: The brake button is for cowards. Real players never slow down. Instead, just steer through chaos like you're trying to beat your high score in destruction derby.

Motorcycles Are Temporary: Motorcycles in Sleeping Dogs are fast, agile, and completely impossible to control. You’re not really driving a motorcycle; you’re just piloting a speeding death trap until it inevitably launches you over a guardrail.

Honk Constantly: If you don’t know how to drive like a normal human being, at least pretend by honking the horn non-stop. Honk in tunnels. Honk in traffic. Honk when you're chasing a bad guy. It won’t help at all, but it’ll feel right.


Racing Like a Maniac:

Take Shortcuts That Don’t Exist: You’ll be tempted to veer off the road and go “cross-country” through tiny Hong Kong alleys. Spoiler: You will hit every single wall and fruit stand, but hey, at least you tried.

Drive on the Wrong Side: Why follow the rules of the road when you can barrel headlong into oncoming traffic? It makes things more exciting, and the NPCs’ terrified reactions are worth the insurance claims.

Mid-Chase Chaos: When you're in a high-speed chase, just crash into everything. Don’t dodge traffic, aim for it! You might not catch your target, but the havoc left in your wake will make you feel like a true Hong Kong action hero (or just someone who should never have a license).
Chapter 3: Being an Undercover Cop – But Mostly Being a Criminal
You’re Wei Shen, the cop infiltrating the Triads. But let’s face it, you’re going to be a terrible cop and an even worse criminal. The line between law and chaos blurs quickly when you start to enjoy stealing cars, running people over, and slapping thugs with fish. Embrace it.

Cops and Triads: Double the Trouble

Accidentally Commit Crimes: You’ll forget you’re a cop and end up stealing cars, smashing things, and randomly hitting civilians. Whoops. It’s okay—just flash your badge and pretend it’s all part of your cover. “Sorry, ma’am, I had to hijack your car for undercover reasons.”

Triad Workouts: Join the gang, then sucker punch one of your fellow gang members just to prove dominance. The other guys might look confused, but you’ve got to establish yourself as the wild card.

Escaping Police Chases: As a cop, you’d think evading the police would be a conflict of interest. But nah, it’s a thrilling game of Cops vs. Undercover Cop-Who-Forgets-He’s-a-Cop. You’ll find yourself fleeing from your own colleagues as if you’re the most wanted criminal in Hong Kong—ironic, but hilarious.


Best Ways to Break the Law (Unintentionally...or Not):

Hijack Every Car Possible: If you’re not constantly pulling people out of cars like it’s an episode of Grand Theft Auto: Hong Kong, you’re doing it wrong.

Randomly Pull Your Gun in Public: Because nothing says "I’m a responsible officer of the law" like whipping out your gun in a crowded noodle shop.

Petty Crime Spree: Steal a purse, rob a vending machine, or throw some guy into the harbor. Is this part of your investigation? Who cares? It’s fun!
Chapter 4: Fun with Random Pedestrians
The NPCs in Sleeping Dogs are hilariously reactive. They scream, they run, they panic, and—most importantly—they give you countless opportunities to cause chaos.

Interaction Ideas:

Run Through Crowds Like a Bull: Charge through the market, shoving everyone like you're late for a meeting. Watch the crowd scatter like chickens in a storm.

Push People into Traffic: Sometimes, your interactions with pedestrians can be a little more... hands-on. Give them a friendly shove into oncoming traffic. It's not nice, but it's incredibly satisfying (and surprisingly educational—gravity’s no joke).

Spontaneous Dance Parties: Punch a bystander and watch as the whole crowd goes wild. You've single-handedly started an impromptu riot-dance hybrid. That’s some real leadership right there.


Best Pedestrian Antics:

Accidental Kidnapping: Grab someone at random and throw them into your car. You don’t know why, but neither do they, and that’s the beauty of it.

Grocery Cart Mayhem: Ram into as many street vendors as possible. Their cries of “MY CABBAGES!” might make you feel bad, but it’s all part of the fun.

Gently Stalk a Civilian: Pick one person and follow them everywhere without saying a word. Just tail them like a weirdly polite stalker. They’ll get nervous, speed-walk away, or just freeze in confusion. Either way, it’s comedy gold.
Chapter 5: Dressing Like a Champion (of Bad Fashion)
The clothes in Sleeping Dogs range from stylish to downright bizarre. Naturally, you’ll want to combine the most ridiculous outfits possible. Why settle for looking like a normal undercover cop when you can look like a kung-fu master who got dressed in the dark?

Style Tips:

The Ultimate Combo: Mix a triad jacket with a pair of flip-flops. You’ll confuse enemies and strike fear into their hearts with your total disregard for matching outfits.

Fight in the Most Inappropriate Attire: There’s nothing like taking down a gang of criminals while wearing nothing but a tank top and swim trunks. This is Hong Kong, baby, and you're the fashion king.

Buy Expensive Clothes, Then Get Into a Fight: Purchase the most expensive suit, then immediately get into a fistfight in a muddy alley. This game isn’t about keeping clothes clean—it’s about making sure they never stay that way.
Chapter 6: Fun with Side Missions
Sleeping Dogs has a variety of side missions that offer extra content and challenges. Naturally, you’ll want to approach them with as much seriousness as you approach everything else in this guide—that is, not at all.

Side Mission Chaos:

Random Street Races: Enter a street race and immediately crash into all your opponents. Winning is secondary; your goal is total vehicular carnage.

Favors for Strangers: When a stranger asks for help, promise them you’ll do it—and then promptly forget. Oops. Sometimes, they’ll just give up waiting and disappear. Mission complete!

Wedding Crasher: Attend a wedding mission and accidentally start a fistfight with the groom. It’s unplanned drama at its
4 Comments
SᴘɪᴅᴇʀCʟᴀᴡ ⚡  [author] 7 Dec, 2024 @ 10:55pm 
Thank you very much draeka3. I appreciate your comments.😄
Draeka3 7 Dec, 2024 @ 12:13pm 
What in the nine Hells ?
Pure comedy gold, thank you for the laugh.
It hurts and it's worth it !

Enjoy the award and call 911 before i die.
SᴘɪᴅᴇʀCʟᴀᴡ ⚡  [author] 25 Oct, 2024 @ 12:56am 
Haha, tnx for rating this :steammocking:
Semtexx 24 Oct, 2024 @ 1:31pm 
Accidental Kidnapping: Grab someone at random and throw them into your car. You don’t know why, but neither do they, and that’s the beauty of it............
Man i love this! :steamhappy: