The first step to becoming a pro in any game is to make sure you know nothing about it. Don’t bother with tutorials, instructions, or reading anything helpful. Jump in headfirst! Let your instincts guide you—it's called "learning on the job" or “the path of glorious mistakes.”

The pros didn’t become pros by reading the manual; they did it by button mashing and pure chaos. If you accidentally find yourself opening a tutorial, immediately close it! Real pros don’t need help.

To be a professional gamer, you need to master the art of the rage quit. Nothing screams "pro material" like flipping your desk because a 12-year-old from Wisconsin teabagged you in Call of Duty. Timing is key: quit immediately after a humiliating loss, but make sure to loudly blame lag, hacks, or bad teammates on your way out.

When executed properly, a good rage quit can build character and intimidate your enemies. Bonus points if you scream something incomprehensible into your headset before slamming it down.

It’s a well-known fact that buying expensive gaming gear automatically makes you better. Invest in a RGB keyboard, $500 gaming chair, quadruple monitors, and a headset so fancy it picks up signals from space.

Of course, don’t bother learning how to set up macros or adjusting your DPI. The point is to look like a pro, even if you’re still confused about which button throws the grenade. Remember: The shinier your setup, the better you are. That's how it works, right?

The fastest way to sound like a pro? Throw around gamer jargon. It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand it—use it confidently, and no one will question you. Here’s a handy cheat sheet:

GG EZ: Use after every win, even if it was a total fluke.

Poggers: Say this whenever something remotely exciting happens, like successfully opening the game.

K/D Ratio: Mention this in every shooter game. Doesn’t matter if you have no idea what your actual ratio is.

Meta: Casually mention, “That’s not the meta anymore” to shut down any strategy you don’t understand.

Camping Noob: Shout this at anyone who kills you, no matter what they’re doing.


Pro tip: Sprinkle these into random conversations for extra credibility. “Yeah, my K/D ratio's been nuts lately. It’s totally meta, dude. Poggers.”

Here’s the thing: nothing is ever your fault. If you lose, it’s because your team sucks. Pros never admit mistakes; instead, they blame their teammates for everything from losing the game to global warming. Did you die because you wandered off alone into enemy territory? Clearly, your healer didn’t keep up.

Remember to say things like, "I carried, but my team threw" or "If my team wasn’t trash, we’d have won that." Bonus points if you can call out someone’s username and give them a really creative insult involving their mother’s cooking.

To reach the highest levels of gaming excellence, you need to "study" the pros. By study, I mean binge-watch hours of Twitch streams, and then shamelessly copy everything they do. When people ask you where you learned your skills, act like you figured it all out on your own.

Tactical positioning? Totally your idea. That insane sniper shot you got lucky with? Definitely planned. Borrow every pro trick you see and slap your own name on it. You’re practically a genius.

that. If someone asks you to play something else, scoff and say, “Why would I lower myself to that level?” Every true pro knows that variety is for casuals. Whether it’s Deathmatch, Capture the Flag, or Standing Still While Everyone Else Does the Work, find your mode and become the king of it.

In League of Legends? Play the same champion over and over until you can last-hit minions in your sleep. In Fortnite? Build like a maniac every time someone so much as looks in your direction. Commitment is key—who needs versatility?

One of the true marks of a pro gamer is their ability to deliver high-level trash talk. There’s an art to it, and I’m here to help you master it. Here are a few pro-level zingers to get you started:

“My grandma could snipe better than you, and she’s blind in one eye.”

“Are you playing on a toaster? Because that was some laggy garbage.”

“If I wanted a challenge, I’d go play against a brick wall.”

“Nice try, kid. Let me know when you hit puberty.”


Delivery is everything. Make sure you sound completely serious even when your trash talk makes no sense. Even if you’re losing horribly, trash talk like you’re the final boss.

This is where your true legacy is made. After every game, immediately head to the comments section or in-game chat and bless the world with your wisdom. Your goal is to convince everyone that you’re not just good—you’re a legend. Here are some foolproof strategies:

Post: “GG, easy” after every match, even if you got annihilated.

Flex about your "years of experience" in the game, regardless of the fact you started playing two days ago.

Leave a mysterious “I could’ve gone pro, but I chose not to” comment, implying you’re some sort of gaming demigod who graces mere mortals with your presence.

And finally, the most important rule: don’t actually practice. Why waste time improving your skills when you can just keep playing the same way and blame everyone else? Remember, practicing is for people who want to get better, and you already know you’re the best.

If you’re losing, it’s not you, it’s the game. Maybe the controls were off, or maybe the developers hate you personally. Either way, don't sweat it. Just jump back in and keep repeating the same mistakes like the pro you are.

By now, you should be fully equipped to dominate any game—whether or not you're actually good at it. Just remember to throw around gaming lingo, rage quit when necessary, and blame everyone but yourself. In no time, you’ll be making headlines like, “Player Yells ‘GG EZ’ While Getting Absolutely Destroyed.”

And that, my friends, is how you become a true pro in every game.

There's an old saying...
　　　　　　　　If you love something, set it free



　　　
If one day you decide to reinstall it, then it's true love!!!


(On a serious tone: If you're displeased with Countr strike 2 or dealing with multiplayer-toxicity, take a break from this game for your mental health's sake!)