Plants vs. Zombies: Game of the Year

Plants vs. Zombies: Game of the Year

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Why the Sunflower is NOT a sex offender.
作者: staticwiggler34
I believe that the peashooter who made that guide is infact a zombie trying to defame the sunflower so they can get to the house easier, this is my reasoning. Please note I am Sunflowers lawyer and if they continue to defame Sunflower I will be taking this to court.
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The baseless attacks made upon Sunflower by this zombie.
The "Peashooter"s accusation is and I quote
"Sunflower appears to smile the entire game which is weird because there's a zombie outbreak so she's hiding something. Also there's usually a lot of sunflowers in one place so they are teaming up to do something even though they don't have arms. But here's where things get real. Most zombies wear a brown coat and a tie. So the most natural thing to assume is they are zombie FBI agents and Sunflower is on the FBI watch list. That's the reason why the zombies are only coming to your house and not the 1 million other houses around you. Some people may if she's really a sex offender who's the victim?" I will tell them."
I will dispute these one by one.
1. Why the Sunflower is always smiling
I believe the Sunflower is always smiling to hide her past, you see she is actually the victim of sexual assault and was about to release a testimony against who I believe the zombie claiming to be the Peashooter is. I believe with this timing it could not be a coincidence as she publicly stated she would be doing it, even though I told her not to. The zombie I believe is doing this is the Digger Zombie, a known Pedophile and who I have personally seen trying to sexually assault the sunflower along with Starfruit and Split-Pea.
2. Why there are often large quantities of Sunflowers in one spot.
Sunflowers are often placed together to keep them close together and maintain symmetry, as symmetry ensures a balanced defense. Also, I want it to be known Sunflowers are often planted INFRONT of attacking plants even though planting them behind is more common. This would suggest that if they were to sexually assault a plant it would be wall-nut and not peashooter.
3. Why the zombies are not infact F.B.I. Agents.
The main argument by the Digger Zombie is that the zombies are F.B.I. Agents, however F.B.I. agents wear blue suits and not brown along with bright yellow lettering on the front and back making it near impossible to mistake them for a zombie wearing a brown suit. I have also interviewed an actual F.B.I. Agent who said this.
"No, these zombies are not F.B.I. Agents. How did you even get that idea that's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupid. Those zombies are not and will never be F.B.I. Agents, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words."
I wish they would swear less but I do not feel comfortable censoring what they have said, only their identity which they told me to keep anonymous.
4. Why the Sunflower isn't on the F.B.I. Watchlist
Now this one is hard to prove, but I believe the Sunflower is not in the F.B.I. Watchlist as she has never searched anything on the internet at all. The Sunflower has also not moved until Garden Warfare further suggesting that she could not have moved close enough to do any crimes of any sort aside from ones that only require a voice. Yes, you can verbally abuse people and even try to manipulate them into forcing themselves onto you but I have known Sunflower for my entire life and we've done everything together. I can confirm they did not attempt this to anyone at any point in time, even after Garden Warfare.
5. Why the zombies aren't focusing entirely on your house.
The zombies have been shown attacking several houses near yours in the Plants VS Zombies Adventure game, also if the zombies were only after the Sunflower why do they keep going after eating the Sunflower and go on to eat your brains? I believe that the zombies are plotting to sexually assault Sunflowers the world over.
6. Why Peashooter isn't the most likely victim
I will admit that the vast majority of Plants VS Zombies players do place sunflowers then peashooters, however once you unlock the Repeater the Peashooter is almost never used. This would mean the Repeater is around her more often and thus is more likely to be the victim.
7. Why Peashooter is infact not being held hostage by Sunflower
Me and several other people have seen Peashooter around Sunflower and not having Sunflower whisper anything to his ears or anything, the Peashooter even told me himself that he is not being held hostage at all.
"People think the Sunflower is forcing me to fight the zombies? You're joking right? No? What the ♥♥♥♥, tell them I'm not being forced!"
Also, the Digger Zombie claims that Peashooter has gone missing, that is not true. Peashooter was spotted in the Zen Garden a few days ago and has claimed he was just on vacation.
"People said I was missing? I was just on vacation!"
With these testimonies from the Peashooter I believe that we can safely say Sunflower is infact not guilty of Sexual Assault.
8. What Sunflower is guilty of.
While I am Sunflowers lawyer I would like to say that she is infact guilty of several war crimes including the following.

1. Attacks on unarmed civilians.
The Sunflower has plead guilty to attacking several unarmed citizens in Garden Warfare 1 and 2 along with Battle for Neighborville in 194 seperate cases.

2. Inhumane treatment of injured enemy combatants.
The Sunflower has plead guilty to killing injured enemy combatants she had picked up to treat in Garden Warfare 1 and 2 along with Battle for Neighborville in 46 seperate cases.

3. Inhumane treatment of P.O.W.s
The Sunflower has plead guilty to torturing and killing several P.O.W.s on 2674 seperate cases and has said "I am a sadist, I like doing it and I admit that"

4. Falsely claiming to be medical personnel
The Sunflower has plead guilty to falsely claiming to be medical personnel in Garden Warfare 1 and Battle for Neighborville, however has not plead guilty to doing it in Garden Warfare 2 saying "I didn't feel like doing it in Garden Warfare 2, but I did it in Garden Warfare 1 and Battle for Neighborville"

The Sunflower is also plead guilty to 19572 cases of Tax Evasion and 6 cases of 1st degree murder and 1st degree arson.
Updates if any.
12/74/2020
I forgot the sunflowers role in the holocaust, Sunflower refuses to comment on this other than saying she did have a role in it, if you have more information let me know!
12/84/2020
I intentionally left out information about the Sunflowers role in the international workers revolution against the capitalist order, Sunflower has stated she played a role in it but like in the holocaust statement refuses to comment further, please tell me more information or even make your own guide and send it to me where I will link it here.
12/95/2020
I was aware of sunflower working under Mao Zedong and murdering hundreds of chinese intellectuals and I have intentionally left this out aswell as I wished to make my own guide on this
Sunflower has stated "They didn't pay me very well, not a nice place to go but the killing was worth it!"
Also, the Peashooter has stated that Crazy Dave did attempt to hit on him however was not sexually assaulted or harassed, but they have stated someone did attempt to sexually assault him and they they were not a zombie, but a human. I was unaware of this and am now paying for the Peashooters therapy.
12/136/2020
The peashooter which I claimed previously was the digger zombie has managed to convince me that the sunflower is indeed guilty of sexual assault with an update to his guide, alongside some evidence I found myself. I believe it is safe to say the sunflower is indeed guilty of sexual assault and also that she's likely going to fire me and stop feeding my .45 ACP addiction, also the FBI claimed that I'm addicted to fertilizer when I haven't bought any even off the black market so apparently I look too much like my brother. Also final thing I would like to say I saw sunflower veURYE8H7G Y43T 78Y78T35YG 8T93U G783GY 837UGR 387UTGYR 787UY 4GT7Y7YU8 TR7Y 5TH5T784YU 7YU8 5T78Y 54T78Y U478Y45 T8745Y TT785Y4 87 Y45T78TY54 45T78 Y45T78 Y475Y8T 45T89 Y34589YT 3T89 354T89 UU8589TU3 98U35I
12/177/2020
I'm back, first I want to say that I was kidnapped by the sunflower and second I want to answer a few questions you may have.
1. The digger zombie did not kill me
2. The Sunflower and zombies are not working together
3. The Sun-Shroom is in on it, along with the rest of the sun producing plants
4. haha updates go brr (i know its a dead meme)
77 件のコメント
name_not_important 2024年7月13日 7時33分 
thats crazy :sans:
Ilvedrppr 2023年10月4日 17時59分 
I pooped
GenericPlayer 2023年8月30日 11時02分 
I also believe I remember hearing from Starfruit that Sunflower had been funding Dolphin Zombie's aquarium knowing that animal abuse was being performed there. Though they stopped the funding when the zombies attacked the only 7/11 in town
rojogames371 2023年6月23日 6時28分 
but killing and or torturing p.o.ws is very much illegal.
rojogames371 2023年6月23日 6時28分 
also, killing unarmed injured enemy combatants isn't technically illegal, because they're still the enemy.
rojogames371 2023年6月23日 6時25分 
this applies to every other plant in the game as well.
rojogames371 2023年6月23日 6時25分 
technically, the sunflower is still considered property of whoever owns it, as is the peashooter, so the owner of the sunflower and or peashooter is actually the one responsible for the damage they cause.
Lord Bruh 2022年12月6日 16時54分 
such a competent person to be managing sexual assault cases, as expected of the one and only killer of sex, the sexkiller!
Prof. Insano Cracked A.V.G. 2022年8月7日 12時04分 
BALLS CUT OFF :ujel: :ujel: :ujel:
Sloar 2022年8月7日 11時03分 
BALLS CUT OFF 😊 😊 😊