The teabag. The glorious dance of friend and foe, teammate or rival. Some may find teabagging "disrespectful" or "autistic", but it is, at heart, an art form. Teabagging is prevalent in multiplayer games, particularly FPS games, and can be found in almost any lobby you are in.

Teabagging is a dance preformed by a lucky hunter on his unlucky prey. It is to some a dance, to others a taunt, but to all, it is a way of expressing yourself. It is an art form. Because of bad parenting, stupidity, and a general lack of testicles, teabagging is often preformed incorrectly, or at the wrong time.

Whilst teabagging may seem like something you should always do to a downed opponent, this is not the case. Incorrectly teabagging can lead to the (public) humiliation of you, your teammates, and anybody who witnessed the event. To prevent this kind of embarrassment, I have kindly included some of the rules, regulations, and suggestions to take into account before you teabag anyone.


Rule #1:Always teabag at the appropriate time.
It is important to know that there is a where and a when for everything, including teabagging. Not teabagging at the proper time can result in serious consequences. For instance, don't teabag someone you didn't kill. The only person teabagging a corpse is the one who killed it. Also, try not to teabag enemies who are alive. It will make you look stupid, and the enemy will probably kill you too.
Rule #2:If you dont want to be teabagged, then dont die.
For many of us, being teabagged is worse than actually dying, so players will often try to make sure their corpse isn't teabagged. Some of these strategies include jumping off the map to avoid being killed, running away from encounters, and more. However, it is dumb to do any of these things, so if you or a loved one has done any of these things to avoid being teabagged, seek help now! This is because the easiest way to avoid being teabagged is not dying. Git gud. Grow up. There are many different names for this rule, but their definition stays the same. If you dont want to be teabagged, dont die. Don't even give the opponent a chance to teabag you.
Rule #3:Know the types of teabag.
it's essential to have an arsenal of different types of teabags, so you always know wich one to use at what time. The types of teabags will be explained in the next part of this guide.

By now it should be clear that there are different types of teabags. It is important to know when and where to use each type in order to prevent public humiliation.
Type #1: The run and gun.
This variation of the teabag involves the teabagger running up to his vanquished foe, teabagging for only a second, and running away. This teabag should only be used after getting a kill from a moderate distance (you shouldn't do this teabag after a sniper kill, but you also shouldn't do it after a melee kill). To properly preform this teabag, after you kill an enemy, sprint to their corpse, quickly teabag (only crouching once or twice), and hastily sprint away again. This is the teabag for someone who wants their opponent to know that they don't have time for them, not even time to teabag.
Type #2: The gang bang
This type of teabag can only be preformed with friends. To do this teabag, vanquish a foe with a group of friends, and then all of your party must teabag the corpse at once. An example can be seen to the right. A good example of when not to do this is if you and your friends kill multiple enemies. The point of this teabag is to show the enemy that you should never mess with you or your squad again.
Type #3: The snipe-bag
This teabag will only work in games where you spectate the person who killed you upon dying. To do this type of teabag, you must snipe an opponent, and once they die, teabag even though you are most likely half way across the map. This is because the opponent will be spectating you while you teabag. Do this teabag to show that even if your enemy is far away, you will always teabag them.
Type #4: The friend-bag
This type of teabag should only be done to a friend, or a teammate. To preform this teabag, you must approach a friend/teammate, and teabag in front of them(even though they aren't dead). You do this to show friendship, and when done correctly, one or more of the people involved may even laugh. Warning! Never do this teabag to an enemy, or a dead friend! It will make you look stupid!!!!

Clearly, it is very important to know when and where you should use the types of teabags. I hope that by reading this guide, you or a loved one has been educated in the art of teabagging. It is with pleasure that I can now call you, the reader, a pro teabagger.