SO YOU START UP AGATHA SIMULATOR 2013 AND YOU JOIN ARENA BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE "YEAH MAN I LOVE MAPS THAT ARE NAMED ARENA" WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SOME LEVEL 6000 BASEMENT WIZARD WITH A ZWEIHANDER RUNS AT YOU



OK SO YOU'RE LIKE WHOA I DONT WANT TO END UP LIKE THIS JAG RAG B AND I'M LIKE I DON'T BLAME YOU BUT LOOK MANG YOU'RE GONNA END UP DEAD LIKE THIS GUY WHEN YOU START BUT THATS OK BECAUSE YOU'RE NEW AND YOU SUCK WHEN YOU'RE NEW.

ANYWAYS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS...

OK SO YOU SEE THE TRY HARD ZWEIHANDER TURD CHARGIN AT YOU. HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO:

• CRAP YOUR PANTS
  
• RUN AWAY
  
• DROP TO YOUR KNEES AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS

INSTEAD YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE THOSE CAMERAS CALLED EYEBALLS AND FOCUS THEM AT THAT TURD. THIS IS CALLED "looking".

GOOD JOB

OK THIS IS THE EASIEST STEP BECAUSE YOU SHOULD ALREADY BE MAD

IF YOU'RE NOT MAD JUST LOOK AT THIS AND YOU'LL GET MEGA BUTT BURNED!

OKAY THIS IS LIKE THE 2ND HARDEST STEP B SO PAY REAL CLOSE ATTENTION OR YOU'RE GONNA BE DEAD K.

AFTER YOU PICK YOURSELF UP AFTER RAGING AT THE EXAMPLE IN THE LAST STEP, WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO IS SLAM YOUR PINKY INTO THAT SHIFT KEY THEN YOU'RE GONNA RUN FORWARDS WITH THE W KEY AT THE SAME TIME K.

YOU SHOULD ALSO BE PRESSING C WHILE HOLDING DOWN YOUR SHIFT AND W KEYS SO YOU CAN BATTLE CRY AND MAKE THE BAD GUYS PEE THEMSELVES.

NOW LISTEN REAL HARD WITH THOSE EARS BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T DO THIS STEP YOU WILL DIE B.

WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO IS CLICK YOUR MOUSE BUTTON AND SCROLL YOUR WHEEL UP AND DOWN OVER AND OVER. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT GREEN BAR, YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT THAT ZWEIHANDER MICRO SOFT WIZARD KID.

KEEP HITTING THEM WITH YOUR WEAPONS AND STEP 5 WILL COME RIGHT AT YOU

K SO YOU'VE BEEN SWINGIN THAT SWORD LIKE YOU'VE HITTING A PINATA FULL OF DIAMONDS WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE BAD GUY FALLS OVER. HE'S DEAD.

GOOD JOB. HE SHOULD LOOK KINDA LIKE THIS:

GREAT WORK MANG YOU JUST FOUGHT IN CHIVALRY. YOU SHOULD BE GOOD TO PLAY LIKE EVERY CLASS IN THE GAME BESIDES ARCHER, BUT IF YOU'RE PLAYING ARCHER, YOU SHOULD JUST UNINSTALL THE GAME BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES YOU, OK.

WHAT WE DO TO ARCHERS: