Description - Josh from Clifton! yes the one with the Lambo (my dads)

Life quotes: "Wavez are killer today bruh?"

Body count: hit 149 on the beach on 31 October 2020

Life Idols:

- Jessica Gomes
- Irina Shayk
- Charlize Theron
- Chanel Iman
- My boi Rob Slater

Star sign - Aquarius ofcourse bruh

Fave jam! - Country roads take me home!

Spirit Animal - Great White Shark

- #surfin&smurfin
- #houseparties
- #cliftonbeach
- #jolling
- #blueyes
- #wakeboarding
- #bruh

Pro's:

- surf like a legend
- drives a VW Kombi (fully customised bruh)
- almost always shirtless
- teacher destroyer
- first team water polo (f*cked the coach)
- poes sexy
- was headboy at bishops
- insta pics are clean add me on the snap
- lekka life in clifton
- sexy friends
- knows all the beach clubs
- knows all the owners on long street
- hiked table mountain 14 times
- can teach you how to surf and pull b*tches
- eating seafood ;)
- have friends in the cape flats
- bench 140kgs
- swimmers bod
- caught a marlin once
- smoke and fly
- pool pong is my sh*t
- tricks on the board makes the chicks wetter than me
- gaming to piss my parents off
- littest DJ on the coast
- WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED BRUH
- vape nation
- your chick probs cheated on you with me
- blonde and blue eyes
- blondies don't stand a chance bruh
- owns 13 different surf boards

Cons:

- surfs too much
- dala what you must
- poes broke all money goes to dank bruh
- not enough ocean for me
- student teacher over gf's
- masochist
- too many nudes (under 18)
- passing out on the beach
- forgets chicks names after sex
- knock poese off their boards
- thinks of stealing the lambo every day
- can't ignore a jol at tin roof (#covid)
- crash at student teachers pozzi cuz dads a poes
- forgets what day it is often
- never sober always high
- a few stds (small ones)
- too little money
- professional at sarcasm and surf talk
- giving a f*ck about anything
- uses bruh too much
- keeping a convo going at anytime
- goes to wrong parties and f*cks the houses up
- gym price too much (use sea point gym)
- came inside a chick and got her preggos and ran away
- i swear she was 18

Good Traits: are you jus bruh? everything!

Bad Traits: what's that?

Fave Drink: any cocktail

Fave Place: The Grand (not the strip club)

Pet peeves: Not being able to afford the grand

- okes who cant surf
- chiks with money (still f*ckem anyways)
- people who have not been to table mountain
- my parents
- people who can't play put put (c*nts)

Nicknames for the girls:

- bruh
- b*tches
- chicks
- birds
- adios
- slu*s

Betty check list:

- swimmer
- non swimmer (not black)
- student teacher
- surfer
- blonde & blue eyes (FML)
- beach b*tches
- sandy ass
- volley ball
- bikini tanned
- white chocolate (a lil racist)
- public shower
- public sea pool (you know the one ;)
- put put ofc
- water polo coach (both of them)
- Older sister (not mine...yours)
- above 18 (I think?)
- short
- tall
- 420
- sea point
- table mountain
- didn't get mad when I came in her hair
- almost all the beaches

Tips and tricks for the jolz in the cape bruh:

- spike drinks (much cheaper than buying them drinks)
- look poes high all the time
- have a fade or a messy bun
- be wise and f*ck her raw (condoms too small)
- f*ck the owners daughter
- start a tab with the rich chicks and ditch half way with one of them
- be a poes (just be you)
- don't give the chicks attention
- play hard to get and f*ck their bestie while you're at it
- grab ass when you see a thicc one
- pull other okes after you make the oke high
- wear button up shirts or v-necks
- smoke a vape with tht inside
- do drugs (any kind you can find)
- don't go swim when you are poesed
- after party at some rich chicks house (bounce as dad catches you f*cking his little naughty daughter)


Snort...don't sniff (never forget)