Recent reviews by THE REAL BEYOND BARYONIC BURGER

darcy play this game. it is good. i despise visual novels and i think it's good. i pirate every single game i play except this one and maybe noita too. which means they're both REALLY good.

a love letter to the best of ridge racer - a game designed not to be realistic, not to satisfy some lofty idea of racing perfection, or even to host eurobeat... but to be fun!

and damn if it isn't fun.
chuck on some of R4's soundtrack, start an arcade time trial and lose yourself in the rhythm and dance of the ps2 era games without having to worry about memory cards or scratched disks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skiNUaOS3mg

I've seen things, you people wouldn't believe...
velociraptors gunning down hordes of minecraft zombies,
hatsune miku shooting iron man in the back of the head with a pump-action shotgun covered in little hatsune miku's while masterchief throws an explosive cat at shrek and geralt is ridden by a tiny version of mario...

all these... moments, will be lost, in time.
like... tears, in rain.

dude this is such a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game, you know what I mean?
oh wait steam's gonna love that - it's a... lustful? yeah, lustful game.

like, what are some AAA releases ya'll kids like?
God of War: Magmacock? pretty slow, foreplayish game that takes it's time with you.
Cyberpunked 2069? it's loud, gets in your face, but in bed? leaves a lot to be desired!

Road Redemption is the lover that don't spend time, wasting time. every moment spent making you feel good, while forsaking it's own pleasure, physics, story... even the reliability of movement & gameplay!

but otherwise, it's a sound piece of work that you just can't get angry at!

hoooooooooly ♥♥♥♥, this game is:
- terrifying
- nauseous
- beautiful
- awe inspiring
- emotional
- nerve-wracking
- ♥♥♥♥♥ EMOTIONAL im gonna CRY
- truly a marvel of game creativity
- heart-warming
- again, scary as ♥♥♥♥
- and utterly unbelievable

that's like, how many genres in one?
how many games, how many series of games, in one experience?

don't buy call of booty, don't buy fat cry, don't buy battleboob, valorunt, csgoaway, any of these copied & pasted games that flood the airwaves with copied and pasted ideas about copied and pasted topics.

play something new.
play outer wilds.

PLEASE, its ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ awesome, dude!!

normal game 1st playthrough = easy, might die if you sneeze like 7 times in a row during a boss
normal game 2nd playthrough = slightly less easy easy, even 4 sneezes in a row is gonna do you in
jakob's schmove = kill everything in one hit, die to the things that don't die in one hit
claptrap's loud revolution = die by earrape cause the loudspeaker's don't scale off dialogue or sfx
moxxi's underboob = ♥♥♥♥ you
the raid on the crimson assery = deal 7% of enemy healthbar, die, come back and deal an extra 2%, repeat

overall? fun game, but damn if it doesn't spike from a snoozefest to dying to every single enemy between dlcs.

this has to be the most satisfying game i have ever played

and i've played Nekopara

starting up the game after a long day
hearing that nostalgic music at the main menu
booting up and causing chaos like it's going out of fashion
just barely surviving everything the military has to throw at you
getting instakilled by a rocket launcher and flying into space

doing it all over again

i swear it's better than drugs

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ why is this game so good

i swear to god if this sith inquisitor calls me slave one more time im increasing the parental rating of this game to R18+ (just going to cut him in half with a lightsaber, not what YOU were thinking)