Simmons: Hey.

Grif: Yeah?

Simmons: You ever wonder why we’re here?

Grif: It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.

Both stare at each other in silence.

Simmons: ...What?! I mean why are we out here, in this canyon?

Grif: Oh. Uh... yeah.

Simmons: What was all that stuff about God?

Grif: Uh...hm? Nothing.

Simmons: You wanna talk about it?

Grif: No.

Simmons: You sure?

Grif: Yeah.

Simmons: Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out.

Grif: Mm hmm.

Simmons: The only reason that we set up a Red Base here, is because they have a Blue Base over there. And the only reason they have a Blue Base over there, is because we have a Red Base here.

Grif: Yeah. That's because we're fighting each other.

Simmons: No, no. But I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and if they would come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoopdee-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-doo.

Grif: What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant armada and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys.

Zoom in on two soldiers watching Grif and Simmons from atop a cliff, one wielding a sniper rifle and in cobalt armor, Church, the other standing behind him in aqua armor, Tucker.

Tucker: What're they doing?

Church slowly turns around to face Tucker, lowering his rifle.

Church: (aggravated) What?

Tucker: I said, "What are they doing now?"

Church: (frustrated) ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I'm getting so sick of answering that question!

Tucker: (defensively) You have the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rifle, I can't see ♥♥♥♥. Don't ♥♥♥♥♥ at me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my ♥♥♥♥.

Church: (interrupting) Okay, okay, look... they're just standing there and talking, okay? (getting angry) That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So, five minutes from now, when you ask me, “What are they doing?” my answer's gonna be, “They’re still just talking, and they're still just standing there!”

Both fall silent.

Tucker: ...What're they talking about?

Church: ...You know what? I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate you.

Cut back to Grif and Simmons.

Grif: Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of life... you know, fight them.

Simmons: Yeah, no ♥♥♥♥. That's why they should put us in charge.

Cut to a low angle shot of a soldier in red armor, Sarge, who is seen looking up at Simmons and Grif.

Sarge: Ladies, front and center on the double!

Simmons: ♥♥♥♥.

Grif: Yes, sir!

Fade to black