absolutely flantastic

riboflavor

/╲/\╭( ͡°͡° ͜ʖ ͡°͡°)╮/\╱\
it's the foreskin spider!!!!

0️⃣-3️⃣ replies: Your 大肉干 turns to SNAKE SHEDDINGS 😭🐍🚫 and your crush marries YOUR COUSIN.

4️⃣-7️⃣ replies: Your 年年有🐍 becomes 年年有🍆🍆��💦😩👅 and your TINDER BIO gets LEAKED TO AHMA.

8️⃣+ replies: Your FLAT CHINESE A$$ 😶😶😶 becomes a SNAKE GODDESS ALTAR 🛐🐍✨ screaming HUAT AH while the MOON CAKES ORGY 🥮🔞💦‼️

PSA: WEAR RED OR THE SNAKE GODS WILL CANCEL YOUR 2025 VISA TO RIZZTOWN ♨♨🈵🈵‼️

🐍 DONG DONG QIANG QIANG QIANG 💯🙌🏻🔥😩 GONG XI FA CAI, YOU GLITTERY GREMLINS 😩🙌🏻💯 🐍 IT’S 2025: YEAR OF THE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SNAKE 🐍 and you better SSSSSLITHER READY 😋👩👀👅! Time to VENOM-DRIP your AHGONG👴👲🏻👲🏻 and AHMA👵👵 with PHATTER-THAN-YOUR-EX’S-EGO mandarin oranges 🍊🍊🍊👅👅👅👅 and STRANGLE THE HONGBAO TREE 🉐💰🈵💰💸 until it ♥♥♥$ CASH!

📝 Get your LOVE LETTERS 💌💌 soaked in 大哥’s TOXIC 懒觉 JUICES 😩😫👅💦💦💦 and SSSSEDUCE your relatives 👴🧓👵👱‍♂🧑 with BAKKWA so THICC it’s basically MEAT OFFS 🐍🐍🐍💦🍆‼️ FORGET RED PACKETS—THIS YEAR WE SNATCHING DIAMOND ENCRUSTED HONGBAOS 👌🏻💰💰💎✨!

SEND THIS TO 88️⃣8️⃣ OF YOUR MOST UNHINGED, SNAKE-POSSESSED, QIPAO-WEARING DEMONS 💃🐍🔥🙊🙊 or face:

Very very very very very very very very very very cool person.