"Yeah, everyone loves male feminist. It turns out, the problem with feminism, all along, is it just wasn't men doing it."




"If you keep breaking it, I'm gonna break you."
"Well, call me a Kit Kat bar because I'm already broken."


"Just pretend you are happy, and eventually you'll forget you're pretending."


"It's been four seconds and i already deeply regret this."


"Why is this disgusting avocado on my plate? i feel personally attacked right now."


"My parents are gonna be impressed I'm dating an executive."
"Cool ! I've never impressed parents before."


"As my blood type says, "B" positive."

"Oh, but you must stay for erotic desert."
"You know, I saw the erotic desert in the kitchen. Who knew you could make such a realistic anus out of marzipan? "
"You can thank my husband. He posed for the baker."
"Wow, you know, it really puts the "um" in "yum". "


"Asexualize me like one of you French girls, Todd."
"Gulp!"