Now before any of you report me for shtposting, hear me out. First, according to the height of a Minion (which is 3.5ft on average), Gru is 4 minions tall, which means he is a godly size of 14 feet tall. Secondly, if any of you remember Despicable Me, you know there is a scene when Vector kidnaps the girls and shoots a series of heat-seeking misses at Gru, which he then dodges them all. According to the speed of an average ballistic missile (1900mph) and the size of the missile according to his ankle size, Gru can perceive and move at such a speed that the missiles only move 9.5 miles per hour, 0.5% of their original speed. After this, Gru punches a shark and it is paralyzed meaning its spine is probably shattered, and to remind you, it would require a force greater than 3.000 newtons to fracture the spine. That’s equal to the impact created by a 500-pound car crashing into a wall at 30 miles per hour. I rest my case.

(Wow I just saw the previous ones I posted here and I have literally forgotten how to properly make them. I need to up my game again the fck is this? I MEAN, I’m totally sleeping and not spamming your profile with unnecessary posts again. Yup. Uh-huh. Totally. Absolutely. Positi- //gets shot)

Here, it’s been a long time since I’ve sent emoticon hearts.