Надеюсь тебя в детстве много насиловали если нет то говори адрес я помогу жить в аду

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+rep really good player

+rep Best player I've played with in my life, just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting kills

Toilet war crimes
This happened to me at work. Sat in the cubicle, minding my own business (on Reddit, obviously) when a whole bunch of guys walk into the toilet and the other cubicles, and promptly drop trou and begin their own business.

I don't know who these particular gentlemen were, but it so happened that they were all the "loud" type of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. You know, the ones with no self awareness or shame, who will grunt, huff and splash their way through a session on the toilet with carefree abandon.

That many at once is a rare combination. So there's like several of us now, and there's just this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ orchestra of moans, grunts and farting emanating from all these other cubicles, and the moment this thought occurred to me, I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lost it.

And of course, you can't just... burst out laughing in a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ toilet full of other people. That's weird. Besides, people might recognise your voice.

So. I tried to hold it in.

Suddenly, over the sound of everyone else, a machine-gun blast of rapid-fire farts rips through the room. And then it gets louder, because I am dying trying to hold in the laugh by now, and it keeps going for easily a few seconds. Finally it stops, and I can't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ breathe because if I did I know I would make a noise, and I realise that the entire toilet is now draped in alarmed silence.

Which, of course, only makes it worse and I'm now basically silently crying with laughter on the toilet, hoping beyond hope that I calm down before I need to take another breath.

After a few agonising moments, the buttock orchestra warily starts back up again, and under cover of their noises I somehow manage to reel myself in enough to breathe and avoid passing out. I then successfully managed to escape the toilet without encountering anyone from the other cubicles and realised that I was the winner in that strange musical exchange.