I was only 9 years old I loved shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies
I pray to shrek every night before bed thanking him for the life I've been given.
Shrek is love I say, Shrek is life
My dad overhears me and calls me a ♥♥♥♥♥♥
I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek
I called him a ♥♥♥♥
He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
Im crying now, and my face hurts
I lay in bed and its really cold
A warmth is moving towards me.
I feel something touch me
Its shrek
I am so happy
He whispers in to ear "this is my swamp
He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees
I'm ready

the truth is that i have a crush on you and i just feel like i don't have a right to do so since i don't even know you properly i mean i have no idea about your favourite food or your favourite animal and it just makes me so sad i mean it's really weird to have a crush on person who is almost completely stranger to me but hah i guess that that is the world of adults since people met at bars and online and stuff but i guess that when you meet someone online on some crappy dating site you at least know something idk idk im sorry i'm weird and ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up and a mess and i really apologize for being creepy i never wanted to act like that and it really makes me sad since now you must think that i'm a creep or something well i am a creep but i don't want to be a creep but yeah im too weak so i can't really change myself and yeah okay bye

Crazy Sick Inventory Cool Float collector super +rep trader

After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

I go through my day pretty normal like, I'm a normal guy, I'm a swell guy, I'm a nice enough guy, I'm a cool kind of guy, I'm a pretty groovy guy...but then I get a little SUGAR in me and start to go KOO-KOO. Doesn't have to be much, this time it was two of 'em Fiber One brownies. Only 90 calories each but they do the job. Do you know what I'm sayin'? They get me goin', they get me riled up, a little KOO-KOO, a little WACKY, start gettin' me a little KOOKY, a little, y'know, LOOPY-- OOO. Hey, somebody get this kid in a padded cell! Someone get him a straitjacket! He's gettin' a little WACKY..ooo...a little KOOKY! He's off the walls, bananas, loco! You want me to stop. Isn't that wonderful? Well, let me just do what you say, because it's your little fairy tale...

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