Every day my girlfriend comes home and beats me within an inch of my life. This used to be the worst thing in my life util I got ARK: Survival Evolved, which gave me a newfound respect for my girlfriend because she knows when to stop beating me. ARK's decision to discontinue its servers in favour of ARK: Survival ascended (which was meant to be a free update) has cut me deeper than the surgical scalpel my girlfriend used to give me a vasectomy in November 2022. It is an absurd business practice that harkens back to when it was appropriate for businesses to discriminate against people based on the colour of their skin except now we're discriminated against based on the version of our game.

Every day my girlfriend comes home and beats me within an inch of my life. This used to be the worst thing in my life util I got ARK: Survival Evolved, which gave me a newfound respect for my girlfriend because she knows when to stop beating me. ARK's decision to discontinue its servers in favour of ARK: Survival ascended (which was meant to be a free update) has cut me deeper than the surgical scalpel my girlfriend used to give me a vasectomy in November 2022. It is an absurd business practice that harkens back to when it was appropriate for businesses to discriminate against people based on the colour of their skin except now we're discriminated against based on the version of our game.