Revenge is a meal best served cold.
😭
Never drink coke in a moving elevator. The elevator's motion coupled with the chemicals in coke produce hallucinations. People tend to change into lizards and attack without warning, and large bats usually fly in the window. Additionally, you begin to believe that elevators have windows.
😙
In computing, the mean time to failure keeps getting shorter.
🤐
Brian: I'm just a dog, Lois. A stupid dog. [to the bartender] Brian: Vodka stinger with a whiskey back and step on it.
🙄
Life is the urge to ecstasy.
🤔
Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets. -- The Brigadier, "Dr. Who"
🤒
It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
😬
Flee at once, all is discovered.
😫
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. -- Aesop
🤓

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Merry Christmas & Happy New year 2018

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