Does your mom know that you're gay?

If you ♥♥♥♥ in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell “amogus” 69 times, a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up, and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage

Let’s say, hypothetically, I am a barbie girl. Okay let’s even say I’m in a barbie world. Right so, in this scenario, I would obviously know from personal experience that life in plastic is fantastic. Wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume you could brush my hair and undress me literally everywhere? Imagination; you can derive from the fundamentals of basic logic that life is your creation.

This person is THE MAN , hands down no questions asked.

Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.

I used to roll half a bottle of laxative pills into a Crunch wrap supreme and then leave cow pies on peoples door mats. People in my town installed porch cameras to catch the "Phantom S hitter" they said it couldn't possibly be one man, the hits were too frequent and too large. It had to be a whole gang of city punks coordinating and making planned precision strikes. I felt like a god among lesser beings in my town. Every time i was at the local diner and i overheard someone screaming about the black slop they found on their porch i felt powerful and unstoppable. I became too arrogant, started striking during the day. That's when they caught me and strung me up in the streets and hit me with rocks. I barely escaped with my life and i had to leave town. Now after all these years, I'm in a new town and I behave well enough. But I've got this nagging feeling, the urge is back, and I'm starting to think that my new town is about to experience a storm