horatio

I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint will bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly ♥♥♥ three time but I've trained my kugel muscles enough to the point where I can hold the Mount Vesuvius wrath. Then, as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate, I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot, sticky juices, the doctor looks disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is, we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by tax payers. That's my fetish.

step 1
get sulfur
step 2 come to me

Almost half way through December and still no sign of gangsta santa smh

So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my ♥♥♥♥ because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!

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