Recent reviews by paul blart mall cop fan 2012

Ludus est iocus et difficilis, graphics sunt pulchra, et fabula est mirabilis.

Playing this game feels like walking through jelly and getting head behind the dumpster of Wendy's while firing .50 cals at baby swans. Except, that gets cut short when my whole team flashes me and takes my lunch money before getting one tapped around the corner.

Grew 12 arms, killed god, and died because I drank lava. Best time of my life.

I JUST TOOK 12 ADDYS AND DRANK 3 POTS OF COFFEE AND MADE A SELF REPLICATING FULLY AUTOMATIC FACTORY THAT SOLELY MAKES IRON GEARS

I have been working salvage for 73 years. They won't let me retire. Every time I get close they just dock my pay. They told me they own me and my family. I told them that was illegal. They threw me out the airlock. I get good benefits though, they cover my terminal cancer with cloning insurance. Whenever I die of cancer, they clone me again, and I start dying again. I can't wait to see my baby girl again, whenever i pay this damn suit off.

Do you like blowing ♥♥♥♥ up?

i need god

♥♥♥♥ the cops

This game does NOT run on my computer because, for some god forsaken reason, they REQUIRE an SSD for the game to run ANYWHERE NEAR well. On a hard drive, the game stutters and freezes CONSTANTLY. Without a complete engine overhaul, the game will be out of my reach until I get an actual PC instead of this laptop I've been using. I've been waiting for this game for a long time. It looked really good. It got good reviews from people I respect. I can't even play it.

not enough furry porn