Recent reviews by Captain Kobold

There are few games, especially 2-d games, as beautiful as this amazing title. It offers a ton of gameplay, , epic, sprawling area, and tons and tons of mysterious story. Yes, it actually has a story- its not all survival. The world is beautiful, full of insane and unique creatures, and it all has a tale behind it of a fallen civilizaiton, of ghosts lost in this world, mysterious machines, and a hunt for anwers and ascension beyond the cycle of life and death.
You stand as a lonely little Slugcat, a small creature only slightly above the bottom of the food chain. Slugcat, despite being seemingly weak and powerless, has a lot of moves and skills you can learn eventually, as you practice. Most things can be killed if you fight on long enough, but gods, usually its best just to flee. This game is brilliant, beautiful, and devilishly hard.

PROS:
-This game is astonishingly beautiful. Its inspired much of the art in my game I'm currently devving, and and few games have had me shed tears from just being in absolute awe. The artists who worked on this game are godly.
-Slugcat, despite seeming weak, is a master of evasion. It has a lot of skills and talents not too obvious, It makes the gameplay unique.
-The creatures in the world make it feel so alive. Beasts seem to have pseudo cultures, food chains are evident, and the ai is outrageously intelligent.
-The music is perfect for this world, and there's just so much of it too.
-The story and characters (yes there's multiple) are amazing, and not aparent from the start.
-Everything is jsut fantastic.

CONS:
-Some things are hard to figure out. It took me some time to realize I could eat some things, and I didn't know the dots around the karma level were the timer until the next rain until I was a good distance into the game.
-Sometimes, the levels can be hard to read, especially in the later stages. Usually this means you may miss a pole or pipe entrance.

This was a fantastic, wonderful game, that did almost everything right. And thats really something, especially for a movie-based game! Although, this game's story is totally unique to the movies and, honestly, it'd be fitting for one of the movies with its sheer brutality.
Now, I just recently completed the game, with its decidedly vicious finale. Be prepared for a lot of hand to hand, super ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ violent combat, be ready for intense road action, with your car- the Magnum Opus- and its wide selection of tools and weapons. There will be blood, explosions, and death. Just my type of fun.

THE GOOD:
-Combat's hard hitting and brutal, both on foot and in vehicle. On foot you can get all sorts of skills and weapons, from bladed sticks you pick up to a quad barreled shotgun you can upgrade to in time. Ever wanted to fight off a dozen screaming men, break half of their arms, blow up two mroe with a gas can, and stab shivs into the rest? Mhmmm. And its bloody. Car combat is precise and on point, with every car having its own weakpoints from exposed fuel tanks to weak tires to even exposed drivers (yes, you can rip them out with an accurate harpoon shot).

-Story; its ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wonderful. All the characters are memorable, the lengths and breadths you have to go to are maddening its... I don't want to spoil anything but gods, it is one of the best game stories I've seen in a long time.

-The world: Harsh and beautiful, this part of the Wasteland is full of so many fantastical landscapes. It's a unique experience to be speeding through a long-dry sea bed, using a shipwreck as a jump- all en route to an offshore windfarm turned into a massive enemy camp.

-Upgrade system: You can upgrade both Max himself and the car, the Magnum Opus, in a wild amount of ways. While having all the upgrades on max don't really effect your gameplay but make it better, the Opus actually requires some balancing depending on how you play. I prefer a quick, heavy weapons Opus- fun stuff.

-Capture system: As it's such a theatrical game, it has a quick system to catch the most brutal screenshots you can get, even with a selection of modifiers and filters. Its a great touch.


THE BAD: There's not much, but I'll list it here so you know what to be prepared for.

-The Archangels: A preset system for the Magnum Opus... and its basically useless. You only have to use it twice in the story, and gosh its annoying. Especially if you have obviously better upgrades and have to downgrade to get further. For the second one you need for the story, you even need to kill a specific Big Dog to get a war paint... which leads me to the next topic.

-The Big Dogs: There's about half a dozen of these guys in the game; all are basically commanders of the enemy factions... and all of them are the same guy, just recolored. the first fight was exciting, trying to dodge that huge mace. Eventually unlocked a really garrish bright warpaint for my Opus (its a new paintjob) and kept moving. To unlock other paintjobs, you need to kill Big Dogs; all of them litterally the same guy, killed the same wya, jsut with different arenas. It gets boring, and sometimes really annoying.

-Bugs: There's a few. Do not try to minimize from full screen, it will ♥♥♥♥ with your game in some odd ways (And it wont minimize). Also, sometimes the upgrade menus will freeze, sounds may vanish, or indeed you'll have overlapping dialogues which are annoying as all hell. Lastly, try not to get sandwiched between two cars while on foot; it happened to me and I was shot fifty feet straight up in the air to just land and die. It's... odd.


THE VERDICT: 9/10.
A wonderful, brilliant game with a few annoying issues. If you like car combat, great story, wonderful characters, exploration, brutal action... this is your game. Worth even full price.

Gods this game got hard, but my goodness it's so, so good. I dont want to reveal anything here, so what I'll just do is give a bare-bones review. The mechanics on this game are very strange and unique, as you play much of the time as a flying head in a helmet. So, you jet around, headbutt heads from other bodies (usually vacuum them off though), jet around, reflect lasers, and more. Pretty much every machine in the game- and trust me there's a lot as you are the last fleshy human alive and you're just a head- can get its head pulled off and its body used.
The game keeps up variability too, with areas using tons of puzzles dealing with color-based clearance access to series of elevator that you had to keep opening doors to to even a warped version of chess which is basically all out war.
This game is great fun; it'll make you giggle and rage. It'll make you just have a good fun time for its sadly short length- get it if you enjoy metrovania games and just unique games in general.

This game is Fantastic. Like, absolutely wonderful, I'd recomend it to anyone.
---Just not on here.--
The pc port is full of issues- I havent even been able to start the game! I've had it on two computers- the first one started it but despite having the requirments, the performance was absolutely unplayable at maybe a frame or two a second. Aparently it was a common problem that happened sometimes that couldnt be fixed. And, after recently getting a new, even more powerful pc, I attempted to run it again... and it'd crash instantly when hitting "new game".
I'd get a refund if I hadn't had this in my library for a year.

Wow... now this is an interesting game. Basically Oregon Trails with zombies and a healthy (And heavy) dose of humor that suddenly pops up in the strangest places. Just to give you an example of this seriously hard but enjoyable game, I'll just mention my best run yet.
Start off with two of my own characters, quickly recruited two more, and raided multiple places including buttville's police department.
Then a rather hard siege came. I lost one; an annoying woman who was always tlaking about getting swole who bore copper goggles and a pink mohawk. But she died. Then, we went and found some traders- it was actually just a talking, standing dog selling ammunition, very casually. After him, we went and raided a collapsed Y'all mart... and we lost two of our people in a vain attempt to loot sugar cakes and cans of nodescript meat.
And eventually, after crashing a car over a fissure in the ground and stealing an exterminator's van (Complete with giant plastic ant on the roof), I met Horse.
Majestic, fast, valiant... and completely ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ insane. Basically, he was a completely naked man who would just neigh, wore a horse mask, and ran twice as fast as other characters. And low and behold, he would become the hero of this story.
The last remaining survivor of my original group eventually diedin yet another siege, and for a long time, Horse marched on alone; charing through salvagable areas without even killing a single zombie because he could not swing a weapon. (For those are not arms, but his "Forelegs"!) But due to some loophole the devs missed, he could shoot a gun and he became wonderous with that shotgun of his.
Soon, I went and rescued a big fluffy white dog that took to Horse, and for nearly five days it was those two, riding on in several more cars (One which Horse managed to fix), having highly intelligent conversations between their barks and neighs.
Eventually, the dog died in a sewer, trying to protect her equine partner. The dog and the horse- a partnership that wasn't destined to last! But Horse eventually found another companion, a bright purple haired woman with a big pistol that did much of the talking for those last few days.
And then Canada, our last objective, came into view. Three sieges happened before, though... and good gods, fear those sieges. Especially when you're Horse.
My purple-haired companion perished halfway into the first one (Her pistol was big, but not big enough). Horse survived the second without barely a scratch, running in circles for two hours in game time to avoid the zombies.
But the final siege was twice as strong, and, two miles (I think) from his goal, Horse died as he had lived, running endlessly.

This is a wonderful, brilliant game that holds plenty of surprises. It's a bit pricey, but it's worthwhile, trust me.

This is what happens if Motorstorm and Twisted Metal have a baby, and that baby has a case of dwarfism. Gameplay wise, P.A.M. is enjoyable, playing almost like a motorstorm game but with similar weapons and weapon systems to an older twisted metal game. The nine cars (Three in DLC) that the game has are all rather unique and pretty well balanced, and at least one makes homage to, again, Twisted metal by having a weaponized ice cream truck. But then again, you can also play as a school bus with a plow or, better yet, a nuclear-powered smart car. Each one of them has three different weapons, one for the front, one for the back, and one for the sides. They're all absurd and many of them are variants of tossing mines on the field, but they do it in differing way, to the credit of the designers.
When you're actually in a race, it's certainly different than most other racing games. Laps don't matter too much in the grand scheme of things, nor is your placement in the actually racing around. The tracks are so damn big that you usually only get one lap anyhow. But what matters most is your kills. Even if you're in last palce when the timer runs out, but you have the most kills, you win the race. This means you can be a cheeky sonuvabitch, grab a side weapon, and then slow down and time out the weapon to catch the majority of the opposing racers. Works well, try it.

But my main complaint about this game is content. The cars are decent, sure. The price of the dlc isn't bad either; $2 for three cars. But you only have six tracks and a remodeled version of the first one made for christmas. (Yes, really.) The tracks, though, are amazing- Plenty of alternate routes, tons of insane terrain, and plenty of pillars to run your ass into when boosting at full speed. All are enjoyable and very long except for one of them, from what I remember. But that's all this game has. Nine cars, six tracks... and that's it. The only two gameplay modes are arcade and "Apocalyptic Challenge", and all the latter is is just playing all six tracks in a row for a total, final score. It can certainly get boring quick, but it's enjoyable while it lasts.

Oh yes, the achievments in this game or stupidly easy to get at times. I got one for switching off the in-game music... -_-

To put it simple terms:

Pros:
Excellent vehicles with a good variety
Gameplay is enjoyable and works well
Tracks are really well designed
Hard mode is actually hard (Weird, right?)
Breaks the normal racing mold and changes it a bit, certainly for the better.

Cons:
Too damn short. Just not enough replay or simply play value at all. Good for a fun few hours, but that's it.
Lack of game modes.

In the end, this gets a 7.5/10. Worth getting if on sale.

Now, I can't say this is alike any game that most people know- for it certainly isn't. It's like a mix of Twisted Metal, Fallout, and Mad-Max style combat with a huge amount of cheesey- and probably bad- translations. It's a Russian game with dated graphics and a decently written story. It's a tale of revenge, messenger-like objectives, and mystery. The lore is actually really complex, and there are some side quests you can take more than the random Bartender mission. Yeah, those guys give you random missions that help early game but are wastes of time in later game due to the prices.
Now, I find it funny that every character wears a Ghost-of-the-opera-esque mask, and lore-wise they explain they're basically a more ornate and compacted Gas mask. I think they made them because they didn't want to have to animate faces, haha. Voice acting is absurd in English; so you may want to just play it in the original Russian with subtitles. This game still has its problems.

Pros:
-Excellent Story and Lore
-Wonderful control system; works pretty well and can be re-assigned if need be.
-Interesting Mechanics- Fuel is a thing, tons of truck upgrades, pretty unique storage system.
-Design of the trucks looks amazing; You even get monstrosities that are crosses between monstertrucks and tanks, wield five guns at once, and guzzle gas faster than five hummers from an oil tank that must be the size of a pond.
-A few hillarious glitches: Pedestrians walk into your truck during cutscenes and splat with a noise like a bug, grass floats, that sort of thing.

Cons:
-Dated Graphics; it's an old game, but that can be looked over.
-A few major glitches; One game breaking one stopped me from palying for nearly a year until I found a guide. Careful when you get to the oil shiping mission in the desert.
-Gets boring at times- you'll spend sometimes an hour or more crossing over three regions that you've cleared before, one-shotting the old enemies and getting worthless crap.
-AI can be a bit of an idiot at times; crashs into enemies, drives off of cliffs, gets stuck on debris.

All in all, I would suggest this game. It's enjoyable and very, very unique- plus it gives me a laugh every now and then, even if it wasn't intended. I'm pretty sure they weren't; but it's funny when a bandit yells something nonsensical anyways. If you want a game of strange bandits, amazing truck combat, massive- and sometimes excellent- landscapes, amazing story, and silly translations, BUY THIS GAME. It's worth it.

You cannot go wrong with this game. You destroy hordes of enemies, ranging from the block-head Corpus to the Space zombie Infested to the Always-in-your-face Grineer. And the destruction never gets old. If you don't want to spend any money on things, but get somewhere in a free game, then this is for you. You can get damn near any weapon or warframe free, jsut takes awhile. That's how I get 90 percent of my items. The amount of missions are vast, and the random map generations makes sure that nothing is ever the same. Not to mention the bosses feel like actual leaders, who have propper strategies and they always require actual planning to take them down, unless you want to go down too. All in all, you can't find more badass space ninjas anywhere. Best of luck, Tenno.