I sexually identify as a carrot. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being the long hard thing people stick inside their mouths.
People say to me that being a carrot is impossible and I'm ******* ******** but I dont care, I'm beautiful.
Im having a plastic surgeon install orange neon lights under my skin, dye my hair green and replace my blood with carrot juice.
From now on I want you guys to call me "Carrot" and respect my right to be eaten and munched on.
If you can't accept me you're a carrophobe and need to check your vegetable privilege. Thank you for
being so understanding.
circa 2014