Hey baby, I miss you. I wish you'd call. I know you're spending time with your main girl right now, but I hope you make some time for me. Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you *kisses* -Katie

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I really thought I was going to marry Mark, that he was going to be the one. My friends got along with him, my family approved. I never thought he would do this to me: reveal that he was actually just a couple of old frankfurters nestled within a sweater fit for a newborn. But I suppose if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from this whole ordeal, it’s that not everybody turns out to be the person you think they are.

+rep gives good head

What if one day you woke up and your nipples were completely gone? like no scars or anything just flat skin and then once you leave your room you find out your dad died last night and several days later you find out for your entire life he had been sneaking into your room while you slept and sucked on your chest to make 2 gigantic hickeys where your nipples should have been, because you were born without them. Not for any sexual reason, but so you could fit in?

father what is an ᵃᵘᵗᵒᵐᵒᵇᶦˡᵉ

Malik’s the name given me after my pawdad who first flushed Idaho dirt knuckles sometime ‘afore nineteen twenty two. I’s born out of Beatrice Beula Ann Metasky Hendersnuse and right onto sixteen foot of December snow. Our Jr. obliged himself in the otter-slick boil of a June Tuesday night the almanac called the “the devil’s own bathtub.” Strange year already what with the bears nestin’ up under the crops, givin’ them the ‘tater shakes. Then there was the outbreak a’ land salmon and that just—just made things worse. That put a hurt right on us we han’t felt since ’37 with the pappy’s potato pop bust up. Y’see, potato pop’s ground pugs gone spoilt, rung out with barrel oil mixed with bacon milk cut with paint crackle and a woodspoon a pool shock. Pawdad’s a one built that mix.

Some folks dash it with low burn diesel but that ain’t Hendersnuse. My pappy and paw paw used to shed brew it and sell it thirty cent a jar ‘till the law came along with a stack-dime shooter and a piece of paper sayin’ a clutch of townsfolk took to blind on the stuff. That’s all stick-chuck, though. First time I saw that gnat of a dug nugget I was lookin’ for my nip-shears and come up on him nestled eight fingers deep a’ feed hose. The mi’t I looked into all those eyes I knew he weren’t no normal spud.

It took us a flick to figure a rightful for our Junior. Couldn’t pull plow on account of his condition. He weren’t worth a fist a’ box marbles for house chores neither. My wife, Merma, was a one to show him the dancin’ when he’s just a tot. His feet weren’t put too right so he just jumped here’n’ere a bit but he loved it so we just let him be. Even though he looked a pack mule chewin’ bumblebees. Merma wanted to put the learnin’ on him just herself, keep him from the other boys. Cain’t never could see him as nuthin’ but my own kin, though, and had ta’ treat him such which meant sendin’ him off for regular schoolin’.

The other boys, mosta’ their paws’s chuckrut farmers, too, so they’s was keen to tatemaws just fine, but they ain’t never seen a totter plop square in the booksroom with ‘em an—s’pose it din’t set right. They made a fool oh him somethin’ fierce. Didn’t stop fer the rest of his schoolin’. A few times a year, somebody would butter him up but good. I remember one boy who jugged a gallon a his maw-dad’s brown gravy ‘n doused our Junior like mater paste on a hornet’s nest. Rest a the day he were hounded by miter bats, pickin’ and chunkin’ bites as Lincoln quarters outta his head. Didn’t help none he wouldn’t quit dancing. Shoulda’ kept him on the farm. He belongs on the farm.

After hours of deliberations from the Council of High Intelligence and Educative Findings (C.H.I.E.F), it has been determined that the contents of this post will be categorised under the terminology of “ain’t it” until further notice.

N-Nyaa~
H-Hi there, handsome! I'm just a cute anime girl with a hot bod, and I was thinking about how I really wanted to smooch you! I wanna smooch you right on the lips! So come over here and pucker up, bad boy!! Just smooch me right on the lips!!
Kissy noises Come on! Smooch smooch
Don't be shy!! Smoochy noises
W-what- Morphs into an amazing new figure!!!
J-just kidding!!! I'm actually a silkworm?!? I transformed into a half silkworm, half human anime girl, and caught you off guard... L-looks like, Looks like you've been.... TRICKED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get memed, kid

● .　　★　　★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ 　★　 :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 *　.　.
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　.　 °☆ 　. ● ¸ .　　　★　° .　 • ○ ° ★　 .　　　　　　
　*　.　 ☾ ° 　¸. ...Way up high* ● ¸ 　　　　° ☾ °☆ 　. * ¸.　　　★　★ ° . .　
　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　... in the Universe...　　　° ☾　★ ° .
　 . • ° 　 .　 *　:.　.　¸ . ● ¸ 　　　★　　★☾ °★ . 　　★ ° . .　　　　.　☾ °☆ 　. * ● ¸ .　　　★　° :.　 . • ○ You're a ♥♥♥♥♥♥:　. 　 ° 　. ● .　　　　° ☾ °☆ 　¸.
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● .　　★　　★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ 　★　 :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 *　.　.
　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　...somewhere　　　° ☾ ° 　¸. ● ¸ .　　★　° :.
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　.　 °☆ 　. ● ¸ .　　　★　° .　 • ○ ° ★　 .　　　　　　
　*　.　 ☾ ° 　¸. ...Way up high* ● ¸ 　　　　° ☾ °☆ 　. * ¸.　　　★　★ ° . .　
　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　... in the Universe...　　　° ☾　★ ° .
　 . • ° 　 .　 *　:.　.　¸ . ● ¸ 　　　★　　★☾ °★ . 　　★ ° . .　　　　.　☾ °☆ 　. * ● ¸ .　　　★　° :.　 . • ○ You're a ♥♥♥♥♥♥:　. 　 ° 　. ● .　　　　° ☾ °☆ 　¸.
● .　　★　　★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ 　★　 :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 *　.　.
　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　　　　° ☾ ° 　¸. ● ¸ .　　★

When I wake up in the morning, all I want is to eat the mesmerising flavour of sour cream. I open my curtains to see the sun shining and that’s when I know I have some in the cupboard.
Before brushing my teeth, I go downstairs and get my Pringles. I open the lid like a treasure chest and all I see is gold. With each and every bite, I rub Pringle dust onto the surface of my nose, savouring every particle of life as I absorb it into my bloodstream.
When I brush my teeth, I use Pringle water. Half water, half Pringles blended together and microwaved to create the creamiest blend of sour to rub against my teeth. My toothpaste is sour cream, perfectly seasoned for the tasty teeth perfection. I brush twelve times a day in order to get full nutrition from Pringle water.
Each day, I eat at least twelve cans of sour cream Pringles, and I believe that every other flavour should be exterminated into the voids of space and time - to be forgotten permanently.

The joke's on you, kid. Yeah, you're reeeaal clever, using adblock on coolmath-games.com . Bet you think you're so cool. You still gonna be laughing once a swat team kicks down you door? Yeah, I don't think so.

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┻┳| •.•) someone say ♥♥♥♥?
┳┻|⊂ﾉ
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Give this rose to everyone you want to anally devastate:
_____/)___/)______./¯"""/')
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯\)¯¯\)¯¯¯'\_„„„„\)

You want
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IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!👋
██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete…..
████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete….
███████]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete….
███████████] 99% complete….. 🚫ERROR!🚫
💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable
💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖
Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦💦cummies💦💦
Or never get called ️squishy️ again❌❌❌❌
If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿
3 back: you’re squishy️💦
5 back: you’re daddy’s kitten��💦💦
10+ back: Daddy💕💕💦👅👅'',on a total side note though a bit of of spooning never hurt nobody

you awake, to find yourself tied up in a room. its completely dark and you cant see a thing, and your mouth has something in it, what you can only assume to be a croissant used as a gag, and then, you feel someones warm breath on the back of your neck, and you hear them say out loud, in a thick french accent onhohoho. as you scream for help, it is no use, for it is only baguette, it was only ever baguette, and thats all it ever will be, baguette.

Smoking is literally the best thing that has ever happened in the history of the universe. Not only did smoking invent happiness, but it also is the reason why houses keep you safe from rain and giraffe rape. Every cigarette you smoke makes you stronger and your ♥♥♥♥ bigger. Hitler was a non-smoker and look at how that turned out, he was only able to kill about 10,000 Jews. His non-smoking made him weak and foolish. Simo Hayha killed 700 Russians with 7 cigarettes tied together with scotch tape, historians claim it was a Nagant but that is incorrect. He also survived an anti-tank round to the face because the cigarette he was smoking deflected it. Cigarettes are made of air, water, bread and joy all put together. The reason we go to heaven when we die is because it is a cigarette. Studies conducted by people better than you prove that there is a direct correlation between not smoking and being a gay ♥♥♥♥♥♥. Don't be a gay ♥♥♥♥♥♥, smoke. Smoke everything.

that gave me cancer

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE FRENCH FRIES FRIES FRENCH FRIES ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THESE FRENCH FRIES FRIES FRENCH FRIES ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

+rep, does butt stuff

Hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella brother amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal, I don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dog, but I gotta warn you, if you take one more diddly darn step right there, I'm gonna have to diddly darn snap your neck, and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? Do you want that? Do you wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? Because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend, if you keep this up, then well, gosh diddly darn I just might have to get not so friendly with you, my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy.

You fool. You absolute buffoon. You think you can challenge me in my own realm? You think you can rebel against my authority? You dare come into my house and upturn my dining chairs and spill coffee grounds in my Keurig? You thought you were safe in your chain mail armor behind that screen of yours. I will take these laminate wood floor boards and destroy you. I didn’t want war. But i didn’t start it.

ᶦ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ ᶦᶠ ᵃᶰʸ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ****S ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᶦᶫᶫ ᵇᵉ ᶦᶰ ˢᵉʳᶦᵒᵘˢ ᵗʳᵒᵘᵇᶫᵉ ᶦ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ ᶦᶠ ᵃᶰʸ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ****S ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᶦᶫᶫ ᵇᵉ ᶦᶰ ˢᵉʳᶦᵒᵘˢ ᵗʳᵒᵘᵇᶫᵉ ᶦ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ ᶦᶠ ᵃᶰʸ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ****S ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᶦᶫᶫ ᵇᵉ ᶦᶰ ˢᵉʳᶦᵒᵘˢ ᵗʳᵒᵘᵇᶫᵉ

Hello my friend, this is the administrator of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥™. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 2 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Hentai section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon!

Hello my friend, this is the administrator of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥™. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 2 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Hentai section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon!

ℬ𝓾𝓽𝓽𝓼

whomst'd've

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░█░░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░▄░ You have been visited by the Lenny Dog
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█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ Paste this to 69 accounts
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░█░░▄▄░░▄▄▄▄░░▄▄░░█░ Or this dog will ♥♥♥ to annoy you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good ♥♥♥♥ go౦ԁ ♥♥♥♥👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌♥♥♥♥ right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good ♥♥♥♥

Did you just call me a flugelhorn! I'll have you know that I fought bongos in the percussion war of 2001. So don't mess with me you little tuba. I will take my pipe cleaner And Shove It right into your horn hole. Besides I bet your rusty on the inside. I bet even a flute could beat you up you trumpet! I hope you go get played by freshman with a really gross mouth. I hope someday you'll respect me and how I fought for your brass kind in the percussion Wars of 2001. You know I think you might be a percussion traitor. You better respect your flutes or else I'll be coming back, you tuba.

My ♥♥♥♥♥ is at it again
drinking water from the toilet bowl
though I give him water every day
he has a preference for toilet water

Oh yes my ♥♥♥♥♥ has been mischief
head butting doors to get in to see me
I say no ♥♥♥♥♥ no
can't you see I am trying to write

But gosh ♥♥♥♥♥ just rubs against my legs
and I feel warm inside and rub his head
I forgive him because I love him, you see
for he is my feline friend and naughty ♥♥♥♥♥

You want
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.. .... __,--------__
<::::..____ :.......(ö) . ':
.............":""................ :
. ............\.................... \
----------------------
.
. sum ♥♥♥?
.... .------;;;;;;""""":
.. (Ö)......|_-_|......(Ö)
. .|...........................|
. |.............................|
. |.............................|

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..\......(...................)..../...................\.
....\.....\._.(.........../....(........<6.....(6
......\._.).).).\........(.......`.._.........:Y...).__ u cheeky ♥♥♥♥
....................\........`-..._....'..-..-.-^.‘_.).).)
.......................`.-..._...).).) ................................... ／l、
..........................................................................（ﾟ､ ｡ ７ 　

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║░▒║ this
║░▒║ is to
║░▒║ help
║░▒║ protect
║░▒║ your
║░▒║ virginity
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ᶦ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ ᶦᶠ ᵃᶰʸ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ****S ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᶦᶫᶫ ᵇᵉ ᶦᶰ ˢᵉʳᶦᵒᵘˢ ᵗʳᵒᵘᵇᶫᵉ

● .　　★　　★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ 　★　 :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 *　.　.
　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　...somewhere　　　° ☾ ° 　¸. ● ¸ .　　★　° :.
　 . • ° 　 .　 *　:.　.　¸ . ● ¸ 　　　★　　★☾ °★ . 　　　
　.　 °☆ 　. ● ¸ .　　　★　° .　 • ○ ° ★　 .　　　　　　
　*　.　 ☾ ° 　¸. ...Way up high* ● ¸ 　　　　° ☾ °☆ 　. * ¸.　　　★　★ ° . .　
　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　... in the Universe...　　　° ☾　★ ° .
　 . • ° 　 .　 *　:.　.　¸ . ● ¸ 　　　★　　★☾ °★ . 　　★ ° . .　　　　.　☾ °☆ 　. * ● ¸ .　　　★　° :.　 . • ○ You're a ♥♥♥♥♥♥:　. 　 ° 　. ● .　　　　° ☾ °☆ 　¸.
● .　　★　　★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ 　★　 :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 *　.　.
　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　　　　° ☾ ° 　¸. ● ¸ .　　★

● .　　★　　★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ 　★　 :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 *　.　.
　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　...somewhere　　　° ☾ ° 　¸. ● ¸ .　　★　° :.
　 . • ° 　 .　 *　:.　.　¸ . ● ¸ 　　　★　　★☾ °★ . 　　　
　.　 °☆ 　. ● ¸ .　　　★　° .　 • ○ ° ★　 .　　　　　　
　*　.　 ☾ ° 　¸. ...Way up high* ● ¸ 　　　　° ☾ °☆ 　. * ¸.　　　★　★ ° . .　
　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　... in the Universe...　　　° ☾　★ ° .
　 . • ° 　 .　 *　:.　.　¸ . ● ¸ 　　　★　　★☾ °★ . 　　★ ° . .　　　　.　☾ °☆ 　. * ● ¸ .　　　★　° :.　 . • ○ You're a ʷʰᵒˡᵉˢᵒᵐᵉ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒᶰ:　. 　 ° 　. ● .　　　　° ☾ °☆ 　¸.
● .　　★　　★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ 　★　 :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 *　.　.
　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　　　　°

……………..l.=.ll=.=ll..=..l.l..=.l
……………..l….ll…..ll….l.l….l
……__……..l.=.ll=.=ll.=.l..l..=..l
…..l]…\….....l…………….ll.=.l
……l……)…l…………………l
……(…..(_/…………………..l
…….\…………………………l
………\………………………..l
……….\………………………/
…………\_…………………. ./
……………l……………….. .l
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN DOOD SLAPPED!!!!! YOU ARE NOW
OFFICIALLY MY DOOD

YOU ARE NOW PLAYING THE DOOD SLAPPING GAME

RULES: REPOST THIS AND GET
YOUR OWN DOODS BEFORE
THEY ARE ALL TAKEN BY
ME! YOU CAN’T SLAP ME BACK, I’M YO DOOD MASTER NOW

GOOD LUCK MY DOOD!!!

__●__ ●
_ █___█ I'm on my way
__ █__ █_ to steal your ♥♥♥♥♥~
__ █__ █
__ ███____________█████ 　　　
_█▒░░█_________██▓▒▒▓██ ☆
█▒░●░░█___ ██▓▒██▓▒▒▓█　　 ★
█░█▒░░██_ ██▓▒██▓▒░▒▓█
_██▒░░██ ██▓▒░██▓▒░▒▓█ 　　　★
____█▒░██ ██▓▒░░ ████▓█
___█▒░██__██▓▓▒▒░░░██ 　 ★★
____█▒░██___████████████
_____█▒░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█
______██████████████████.•°*”˜҈.•°*”˜҈.

╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Um ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Damn ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝

╭━━━━━━━╮
┃　　● ══　 █ ┃
┃██████████┃
┃██████████┃
┃██████████┃
┃█ ur adopted. █┃
┃█ -Mom&Dad █┃
┃██████████┃
┃██████████┃
┃██████████┃
┃　　　○　　　 ┃
╰━━━━━━━╯

👻~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~👻
👻 W̨ͥͪ̅̑̂҉͕̪̖̫ḩ̹̤̟͕̓̿̊ͪ̓̓o̹͎̳̟͗͂͋ͬͬ̀͜a̷̻̘͓͎̯̤̻̥ͦ͌ͭ͝ͅ ̸̞͙̝̰̗̦̋͋̂͛ͫ̓̎̎h̶͈̺̻̗̬͉͖̄̍ẽ̸͍̮̩̹̐̕ç̳̻̱͖͆̊̈̓̃̍̏̒͘k̡̲̺̰̥̻͂̓̓̓̓̚!͈̩ͭ̏̄ ̷͔̱̖̠̾̈́ͫ̅̃ͪ͌̽͡Ṱ̵̛̩̠̽͠h̴̛̥̼̗̹͔̝̦̋͋ͮ͑͒ͅḭ͚̜͇̰͎ͣ̈́̈́͛s̢͖̙̈ͦͅ ̝ͣǐ͒̄͆ͯͨ̒҉̤͎̹ș̢͎͖ͩ͋ͦ͌͞ ̏ͧ̑̚͏̢̟̻̮̻͉̺ọ͍͖͚̥̉̔n̷͇̳̲͕͓͂̅ͬͪ̎̒e̸̼͙̘̮̞̘͓͉͛̑͊͢ͅ ̩̻ͧ̔̈͢S̠̟̥̮̱̪̻̹̞̾̐ͧͧ̾̇̀̄͘̕P͙͙̄ͤͦ͑͑͡O̯̲ͨ̓̎̔̍ͭ͌Oͤ̉͏̵̢̘̥̟K̵̤͙͇ͦͧ̾̂̍̚Y̴͔̙̮̋͗ͫ̓̽͘͠ ̬̗͎̭ͫ̐m̧̛̖͕͋̂̂͂̐͗e̴̸͖̲̯̘ͧ̐͌͑ͩ͢ḿ̛̭̜̻̹̬͍́ͫ͗̄ͦ͞ͅē̫̉ͪ̽!̨̧͔̭͛ͤ͢ 👻
👻~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~👻