Blackadder: Baldrick, fix us some coffee, will you. And try to make it taste less like mud this time.

Baldrick: Not easy i'm afraid, Captain.

Bla: Why is this?

Bal: It's because it *is* mud. We ran out of coffee thirteen months ago.

Bla: So every time i drank your coffee since, i have in fact been drinking hot mud?

Bal: With sugar!

Bla: [Smug] Hm. Which of course makes *all* the difference.

Bal: Well it would do if we had any sugar. Unfortunately we ran out of sugar new year's eve 1915. Since then i've been using sugar substitute.

Bla: ..which is?

Bal: Dandruff.

Bla: [Sighing] Brilliant...

Bal: [Optimistic] Well i could add some milk!-.. Well uh, saliva.

Bla: No, no thank you Baldrick. Call me Mr. Picky but i think i'll pass.