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nearly 8k hours on mordhau youre actually insane

hey uh... spotted you across the duelyard... *stares at ground* s-sorry if this is a little forward, but i think you're *pushes fingers together* p-p-pretty cute. ahhh im sorry, im such a dweeb *kicks dirt* hopefully youll forgive me for being so creepy but... i really think youre beautiful. your armor fits you in the nicest way, and forgive me for b-being a weirdo... but i think your butt looks nice in that chainmail skirt... GAH did i just say that ooo im so sorry *blushes and covers mouth* i really didnt mean anythin by it im so sorry.... please dont hate me. if you totally dont think of me as a creep by now then maybe we can duel some time *flourishes* hey... cmon... flourish back *flourishes* hello? *sword salutes* y-you there? *feints you* hello??? wake up??? cmon duel me! what are you doing! stop ignoring me!!! *flourishes* what are you doing! *jump kicks you* cmon! *feints you*.... why cant we just... yknow duel? pleaaaase? okay im sorry haha.... sorry... can we duel now?

Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy ;) nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~

look at my lawyer man im going to jail

You're so massive, the biggest in the gym. you're the only one bulking, no one is bulking as hard as you. Out of an infinite number of alternate versions of yourself, you are by far the most bulbous and succulent one. Nobody is as bulbous and succulent as you are. out of all the bulks to ever exist you the bulkiest of them all.