How about the one and only pineapple on pizza?

I sexually identify as a pastafarian. Ever since I was a boy I wanted to bathe in smooth spaghetti bolognese. People think my dream is "ridiculous" and "stupid" but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon give me noodle arms and meatball eyes so I can realize my dream. From now on, I want you to call me "Linguine" and to respect my right to dine on fine pasta dishes. If you cant accept me you're a pastaphobe, and I ask you check your pasta privilege. Thank you for understanding.