I was born in a cross-fire hurricane. I was raised by a toothless bearded hag. I was schooled with a strap right across my back. I was drowned and washed up and Left 4 Dead. I was crowned with a spike right thru my head. But it's all right now, in fact, it's a gas.

I am an 18th Century barrister from London. Although I am brilliant in my profession, I am often drunk, self-indulgent and self-pitying because of my wasted life. I have a strong, yet unrequited, love. I am in Paris during the Reign of Terror following the French Revolution. My end is quite near.

Welly welly little brother. I will get on. I enjoys milk-plus - being milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, a bit much, as do me droogs, that be Pete, Georgie, and Dim. I find Left 4 Dead a kick and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolent. See you in game, me brothers.

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My Left 4 Dead YouTube videos