Recent reviews by Insanity Toast

The music in this game is incredible. Even after twenty years no other game has produced such wonderful sounds. Turn up the volume--your ears and mind will thank you for it.

How can you pet the dog when you are the dog???

This game is the perfect metaphor for what it's like to go through high school.

The game's actually pretty fun. And a bit of advice for you, the reader: tip generously in life. It might seem pointless at first, but over time, it gives you an endless sense of joy.

"There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going.
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing.
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a blowing?"

"Not a speck of light is showing
so the danger must be growing.
Are the fires of hell a glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes! The danger must be growing
For the rowers keep on rowing.
And they're certainly not showing
any signs that they are slowing!"

-Willy Wonka

This is the only DLC you need for Ghost Warrior 3. Actually, now that I think about it, listening to these compositions is more entertaining than the game itself.

Imagine, if you will, that you are walking outside on a rainy day, and some smooth "rainy day music" is accompanying you. Along your journey you also notice that you have a loaded gun, and for some inexplicable reason, you must shoot and kill the various mobs of people who are casually walking in your direction. There are also missiles flying through the air, but it doesn't seem to matter, because you have at your disposal the most powerful weapon mankind has to offer: the "rainy day music" that plays endlessly in your head.

PUCK FUTIN

I can't stop stealing pretzels from peasants, Jesus Christ be praised.

If you want to play this game properly, then you need to drink vodka when you play. I know this because I have slavic blood coursing through my veins, and this sort of knowledge comes instinctively to me. I played while drinking vodka and my plane became so powerful that I passed out and hit my head on small table.