You either die a Noob or live long enough to become a "Hacker"

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mother

Q: What's the difference between a ♥♥♥♥♥ and a ♥♥♥♥♥?

A ♥♥♥♥♥ sleeps with everybody at the party, and a ♥♥♥♥♥ sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

Q:What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: Simple, you punch her :]

How many Silver CS:GO players do you need to change a lightbulb?

None , 'cause they can't climb a ladder

I don't always get flash banged. But when i do. It's because i threw it.

Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?
A: "Must be an earthquake."

Q: What did one of the prositute's knee say to the other?
A: Nothing. They have never met.

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.

A husband says to his wife, "You know, our son got his brain from me." The wife replies, "I think he did. I still got mine with me!"

Jesus can walk on water
babies are 89% water
I can walk on babies
I am.....



in jail.