I've been noticing an unusual trend in the quality of Snickers bars over the last decade. I found an old one from 5 years ago and decided to study its composition under my spectrometer and discovered something unnerving. The Snickers bar currently sold in stores contains 43.67% less rare earth elements by weight, when compared to one sold 5 years ago. Do they think they can fool us? It's hard to wrap my mind around why they would do this. Thorium used to make up 12% of the bar, but now it's at 8%, and now there's only 4% Americium compared to 7% just a while ago. It's all been replaced by organic carbon-based matter, like sucrose and poorly crafted carbohydrates. I'm disappointed in the Mars corporation, and I hope my findings will gain enough publicity to force Mars into reverting back to the old formula. Consider this an open letter.

⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣩⣉⢻
⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣶⣕⣈⠹⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣛⢋⣰⠣⣿⣿⠀⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠶⡝⠀⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⣿⣿⣿⢏⣿⣿⣋⣀⣈⣻⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣿⡐⢿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢩⣝⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠿⠦⠀⠸⠿⣻⣿⡄⢻
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣿
⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸
⣿⠏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⢸

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠁⠸⠃⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣬⡉⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⠢⡈ ⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣑⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⠘⠭⠭⢭
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀ ⣈⣙⠧
⣿⣿⣿⡵⣚⡭⢅⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⣷⣾⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀ ⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢀⣀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

Snoozer? I was a snoozer once. They put me in a room. A cozy room! A cozy room with pillows in it, and pillow make me eepy. eepy? I was eepy once. Theywqe put me in a dark room. They told me to make myself comfortable. A dark room with blankeys and pillows in it. and blankies make me cozy. Cozy? I was cozy once. They put me in a bed. A nice bed with fluffy blanket on it. and fluffy blanket make me eepy.

Tei, Tei, Tei Tei Tei <3

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