"Every morning i wake up hungover."

"You know if i lived somewhere, i would be drinkin' piss, smashin' puss."

"I dont even know who that is, and i'm mister popular"

"I'm going to eat out every girl here"

"there's no person I hate more than facebook james"

"if i move, I munt"

"I miss Ready Steady Cook, such a good show ♥♥♥♥"

"On the Good-Bloke o' Meter, They're a 10"

"I wish i had a mate called simmo, even a simon would do"

"when I have a son I'm going to tell everyone I beat him, but i won't actually beat him"

"i could hit your bodyweight in a cone, right now"

"he's not my friend, he's my CS friend"

"gibby looks like a fat soccer mum ♥♥♥♥ hahahahahaa"

"when i see her im going to suck her toes off her ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ feet ♥♥♥♥"