i have returned >:3

best part is: who'd suspect good ol' walt disney, a salt of the earth, popcorn eating mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥ who makes all your dreams come true.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

THIS IS THE TALE OF C A P T A I N J A C K S P A R R O W

If you say one ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ word on the internet, I'm going to show you what a knight can do. I will be able to backtrace your IP using my hacker skills; one time I hacked my mom's boyfriend's Facebook page, and said "lol i am a ♥♥♥♥♥♥". And now people think he's gay, and his mother has disowned him, I think. My mom and him are still dating, but I'm sure it damaged his credibility a lot. He once left his laptop on, that means I'm a hacker now. I have so many powers you can't imagine. I have a 178 IQ. I did an IQ test on Facebook and it said that this is a very, very high number. I know that I'm smarter than you, more clever-er than you, more smarterest than you can ever imagine or believe. I'm a knight of many principles, I'm very, very strong and very, very handsome. You can't stop me. You can't take back what you've done. All you can do is apologize, and beg. Beg for for your life. This, and only this, will please me.

Did you say something... offensive to my lady? Did you say something that... I find inappropriate? Yes, she is my lady. No, we are not dating, but I consider her mine; not as property, perhaps, but as equals. I am a knight, good sir. I fight for the values of women online. I do also own five sets of platemail, two sets of chainmail, and fifteen claymore swords, also two battle axes, mostly for LARPing, but I also have some real ♥♥♥♥. I will cut you the ♥♥♥♥ up, I'm gonna come to your house, I will fight you with my bare fists - probably covered in chainmail, because that would give me a little bit of an advantage. I will have my brother, Steven, who I share a bedroom with in my mother's apartment; I will have my brother, Steven, polish my armour after he's done with his next round of Call of Duty, and I will take you out. I will take you the ♥♥♥♥ out. I will make sure that you'll never speak such harmful, awful, inappropriate things to my lady again.